Lesson 354:

We stand together, Christ and I, in peace and certainty of purpose. And in Him is His Creator, as He is in me…

Christ is what is; the true within my Self…as God created. And God has but One Son, fully whole as Christ. When I remember what I am in truth, I remember Christ. And I do this by seeing through your story and the labels that make up this world~ to the Christ within; forever shining the light of understanding and love… When the story ceases to have meaning and the single purpose of unified joy has given meaning to the present moment~ infinity… Christ, like God, is the name for what cannot be named… only experienced, as is…

Love is the experience, Creator and created… Here’s what I’ve noticed, only what can be shared allows joy to flow, uninhibited… and only the ministry of love can be shared. ~ I thank you for joining me in the one purpose we all share in Atonement…

Lesson 334:

Today I claim the gifts forgiveness gives…

I love this time in the mornings where peace is so pervasive. For me, this space in the wee hours, that many years ago I designated as time I devoted exclusively to my relationship with God has transmuted many times… The changelessness of this state of peace has been invaluable to my recognizing what, indeed, peace is.

It has been a space of reverence for my alter to God; a place of prayer and contemplation, a space of honesty and transformation of the honesty concept, of attempted negotiation till surrender to truth’s obvious value became apparent… And above all it has been a place where I let truth find me and where also, there was my Self, waiting for me to notice…

It was here, first, that I began to recognize my ‘true’ identity, my identity in Christ; and therefore my inseparable relationship with you as Christ, unified in our oneness and our love…

The safety and completeness allowed for this time in the a.m. each day to expand and extend, until it became natural way of the day, as it is now.

So, I continue to rise early and rest in great peace and expectancy.

In the forgiven darkness of the awakening light, now is always; there is no time, but only our forever-ness.

Heavens dawn reveals the obvious; for-give-ness is my only function here, a natural requisite to move about the day in the dream in eternal peace. Ah, how I love the dreamer; self or brother~ it’s all Self. This delicious feeling of peace and oneness is so typical and obvious of the gifts forgiveness brings, making it so easy to behold my brother sinless in mind…

Forgiveness gives us the chance to experience a state where we feel completely unified with all that is, with no known desire but this experience.

All my efforts these recent years have been devoted to the quick restorative to this state of forgiveness. Which boosts my willingness to be vigilant to look squarely on at all that interferes with this state of unadulterated peace. I have learned to be a happy learner and happily I look honestly with the Holy Spirit at what I see and therefore what I believe, so as to forgive the false beliefs that I chose to defile the alter to my Father/ brother/Self. The simple fact that they cannot be true unfolds and allows the Holy Spirit within my mind to show me another way of looking at whatever it is. And finally, I am allowing the shadow of seeming ‘reality’ disperse into the nothingness in which it came…

Ah, the gifts forgiveness brings… this dwelling place is the only home for me now and from which I never stray too far, for I recognize the call for love.

Love’s gentle call is always within range… I hear it through your lips, see it in your eyes, and feel it in your heart ~ they are mine as well. The so-called physical trappings of the world serve only as a backdrop for the magnificent business of re-member-ing our full identity as Christ. Thank you for your gifts to me… without you I am nothing… Forever we are the effect of our Father Cause~ His Love is all that in truth, compels at all, oui?

Today’s lesson’s prayer:

”I seek but the eternal. For Your Son can be content with nothing less than this. What, then, can be his solace but what You are offering to his bewildered mind and frightened heart, to give him certainty and bring him peace? Today I would behold my brother sinless. This Your Will for me, for so will I behold my sinlessness.

Lesson 284:

I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt…

This is the great gift of accepting the miracle, yes? Once we see through the disguises of the ego’s emergency death threats and realize that the thing all hurt, grief and pain have in common, is that they are false ideas about an anticipated situation we fear~ which also is false, we begin to instantly see the next step… We can elect to change a thought that hurts to one of forgiveness… Understanding that the Holy Spirit has got it wired for the return to love brings immediate peace…

I’ll tell you what, capitalizing on this gift (changing my mind ~ being willing to see things differently ~ reaching for the thought that feels better or even offers some relief ) has been, truly, a life-saver for me. And I mean that in every sense. I saw pretty quickly that the ‘mind-changing skill was worthy of practicing, honing and mastering…

So many bennies have come as a result. For instance, taking responsibility of changing my thought so I wouldn’t be in pain gave me a sense of accountability and integrity and lessened the desire to blame some one or situation for my circumstances…

And, the more I did it, the more I wanted that experience of feeling in my integrity and 100% responsible. I saw that forgiveness was the obvious avenue for the quickest investment in my happiness. This made me all the more willing to look more deeply into my core belief structure which brought these things about, serving them up as opportunities for happiness-by-way-of-forgiveness lesson accountability… which made me see that the script is written and the problem has been answered by the Atonement. And my changing my thoughts from fear to ones that allow love to express itself, which joins me with everyone and every thing… this is my part… So I can easily have faith in my brothers and that they are doing their part perfectly as well…

I am so very grateful to that I elect to change all thoughts that are not the truth of what I am and you are… and let the Holy Spirit handle the detail…

Father, what You have given cannot hurt, so grief and pain must be impossible. Let me not fail to trust in You today, accepting but the joyous as Your gifts; accepting but the joyous as the truth.

Lesson 264:

I am surrounded by the love of God…

“Father, You stand before me and behind, beside me, in the place I see myself, and everywhere I go, You are in all the things I look upon, the sounds I hear, and every hand that reaches for my own. In You time disappears, and place becomes a meaningless belief. For what surrounds Your Son and keeps him safe is Love itself. There is no Source but This, and nothing is that does not share Its holiness; that stands beyond Your one creation, or without the love which holds all things within Itself. Father, Your Son is like Yourself. We come to You in Your Own Name today, to be at peace within Your everlasting Love…”

Ummm…. That feeeels soooo gooood…. Basking in the message of this prayer, which the lesson calls salvation’s prayer; brings the invitation to rest in peace, forever. And you can feel it unmistakably. It is really all we want, isn’t it. It is the heart of our oneness at the foundation which we can simply feel, right here, right now… a sense of such completeness, such wholeness, such Love. You can feel it… Yes? And haven’t you noticed that it is the base essence of what all our practicing has/is all about.

As we take this prayer’s symbols into our being, their meaning finds connection with the ‘receptor sites’, so to speak, which have been opened through our forgiveness; our letting go, the blocks to loves awareness that not only dragged us to the Course, kicking in our misery and defeat in the first place, but has systematically uncovered and released the deep-seated core beliefs we held about what we are. Now we can see that we had a case of mistaken identity which we’ve come to realize we’re but a dream and could never be in truth… And although at time we still forget, we know that if we feel yucky ~ it’s a forgiveness lesson ready for release….

This feeling of complete satisfaction and peace which we rest in behind the world-symbols of this prayer is the Love which we can count on to direct our so-called life. It is the one choice for the Holy Spirit within our mind while we remain where we are not at home. It takes us beyond belief to recognition. And here we feel the truth these words point to…. And we are ready…. If there is one thing that we can count on, it is that if life isn’t feeling yummy and we are experiencing love, everywhere, and in everyone, it is a prompt from our internal guide to choose once again; to choose forgiveness and see things differently.

Holy are we as the Son of God, united in purpose and one with our Father whom created us like unto Himself…

Lesson 223:

God is my life. I have no life but His…

This is the sustenance by which I am maintained. I count of this internal knowing. Each day as I wake, this is the first thought or experience I have. God is my life. I have no life but His.

I’m aware that there was a time in my life when I was out of touch with this truth; yet truly, as I write this, I can’t really recall the essence of that experience of aloneness and separation from my Source ~ from my very Self; my breath, my life.

What I do recall is that it was this very contrast; this death-ness~ this ‘loneliness of nothingness’, that brought me to my knees, imploring the prayer of the desperate, “there has got to be another way”.

My life today is that other way… Oh, the joy of the forgiving mind.

It is astounding how, when life is but God, there is always time if it is needed, always resources, always enough. Was there a time when it was different?

No, I think not. Merely mistaken identity which thought it could think. But it was nothing. Who can remember it now, when everyone and every seeming situation and circumstance, is my greatest lover… Each part completing Life. I wouldn’t miss it for the world…

The good news is I don’t have to. The world, it turns out, is in my mind. And today, I look out on only Christ… and the deeper I look the more I see my Self reflected there. I see my life in God. And it looks like you… and you and feels like joy and love and peace and life… Thank you.

Lesson 210:

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am as still as God created me.

I choose the joy of God instead of pain…

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am as still as God created me.

Here’s something I have learned. I can not hear the Voice for God from a pain point of reference. As long I am in pain; as long as I am thoroughly immersed in my belief in the state of pain; whether it be seemingly physical pain or emotional pain or mental pain (well, it’ all really mental now, isn’t it), no matter how sincere I ask for help, the answer eludes me. I have already the experience I want to be real for me ~ pain. And pain and the joy of God simply cannot occupy the same place.

I simply must choose again. It requires but an instant of suspended thought that I know what is, and the desire to see things differently. And that is enough. I have place the key in the door of the new perspective and the Holy Spirit within my mind unlocks and swings wide open the floodgates of my true nature of Love and the joy of God.

Now my seeming pain can be seen for what it is: a forgiveness lesson; merely as misperception about who I am and why I am here. And healing can begin.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know it is a constant redirect process sometimes (a lot of times) because the seeming pain has got a sufficient hold, through practiced belief, in my mind. But that is just what it is: a practiced skill; the skill of shutting off the flow of joy that is my true Self. And mastering a skill does not change who one is in truth.

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am as still as God created me.

Period.

The rest is the restoration of the mind of God’s Son to the truth; unearthing every false thought ever believed and re-member-ing the authentic Self within it; re-uniting all the pieces within one holographic instant of prefect peace as the complete whole we are as one…

Today, let us let joy rip and listen to the Voice for God in gratitude and love for all our brother and our Self…

Lesson 207:

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me…

I bless the world because I bless myself…

I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me…

Joy is my natural state. Forgiveness allows for me to let go all resistance to experiencing the fullness of this joy that I am. In other words, to release the blocks to love’s awareness, accepted within the mind with acceptance of a belief in identity not my own.

Now, this is what I have come to see: the more I forgive the false by merely recognizing that if it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t true and simply giving the situation over to the Holy Spirit for correction, letting go all expectation of what that correction might look like, leaning back, and letting the Holy Spirit show me; the more I trust that what is, right here, right now, could be the only perfect way things could go for the good of all. And the simplicity of letting joy rip is at ready access as the experience of my Self. So this becomes the way I bless myself and therefore the world.

This is the blessing methodology of the miracle. I bring the darkness I have been hiding in, from and believing in, to the Holy Spirit’s light. How do I know what to bring and when? Any time I feel any kind of alteration the pure, full-on flow of joy, it is right there: forgiveness lesson opportunity.

Always, this results in feelings of camaraderie with all involved and a warm glow of peace… at the least. So who wouldn’t do it, if they knew how much more of what they really want, comes through forgiveness rather than competition? Who wouldn’t take the deal, if they knew? My blessing is to bless everyone I encounter with my Self as the presence of this choice, and unite with the Self in them, blessing me again in return. Joy is always the natural result…

Thank you, my brothers who are one with me.

We are not a body. We are free.

For we are still as God created that we be…

Joyous, happy and free…

Lesson 193:

All things are lessons God would have me learn…

You know, this idea that life is a series of lesson was not unfamiliar to me when I first began my Course study. No, pretty much every situation of up bringing and growing and learning and succeeding was laced with the idea that, if nothing else, one was supposed to learn something from said given situation. Oh, how many times I used this idea; both to ‘improve’ myself and to make excuse for my perceived ‘failure’ (well at least I learned something). I used it as a coping mechanism, pulling it out when needing. This idea has taken many forms for me and actually was a sort of bridge of hope when I had none (“perhaps there is a reason for all this”)… I did not speak the language of the A Course in Miracles when I began my study, but somehow, deep within, it spoke mine. And by way of the miracle all my ideas of what things are or what they mean, have systematically been brought to the Holy Spirit for review and reinterpretation. And the major reinterpretation has been that if it is not as God is: changeless, formless, eternal happiness, joy and love, then it is not real.

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exist.

Herein lies the peace of God… (T-introduction)

One can’t really take this in from the ego-belief-structure. From there, we believe what we see not realizing that we only see what we believe. That is the mechanism of perception. It show us what our minds believe is real. Perception is not of God, Who knows all. However, perception is the temporary means the Holy Spirit utilizes to return our minds to there natural state of eternal oneness and love. Forgiveness is the tool for employing the proper use of perception in this so-called world.

Forgive, and you will see this differently…

When I first really allowed the meaning of this one idea to permeate my being, I remember I sat huddled in my meditation room, rocking and weeping tears of joy and relief…

Prior to then, I was still holding on to regrets and wishes that things would have gone differently; I would have been better, kinder, not-intoxicated, more honest, etc… Then in the twinkling of an eye, so to speak, I got it. Pain is not real, because it is not of God. Period. So there is no point attempting to deceive myself that pain and regret and guilt and worry were a necessary part of my ‘growing-learning-process’. If there is pain in any form present, it is not real. You can’t fix the unfixable. Forgiveness returns to mind to the truth… Only what God created is real.

And I am what God created in any given situation.

Here is my starting point: “I am as God created me and you and I are one in Him…” This makes for a sort of vacuum type of pull dispelling the falseness of the ‘stressful, painful, fearful, etc. situation and allowing for the Holy Spirit within my mind to heal and correct and then use for His plan for salvation of the world… forgive, and see this differently…

Now here’s the thing, none of the perception correction part is my business. My business is to notice how I feel, and as the lesson suggests, if pain seems real in the perception, the lesson of forgiveness has not been learned. I merely apply these words, held in full awareness, with devoted willingness: “Forgive, and see this differently”…”Forgive, and this will disappear”…

What I found is that the temptation to replay the past with pain and regret must be vigilantly addressed with the forgiveness tool. As tempting as it is to organize them into hierarchies deserving of time’s meted out punishment and pay the price of shame with the coin of delay in healing now, that’s still all it is, a game of the ego of distraction and delay… God’s Will for perfect happiness is inevitable…

If there is pain present in perception of a situation, I could not be the truth. Let us today, as the lesson beckons let mercy come to us more quickly and use time for what it was meant for: Morning and night, devote what time you can to serve its (time’s) proper aim, and do not let the time be less than meets our deepest need… give all we can, and give al little more. For now we would arise in haste and go unto our Father’s house… and as we practice, let s think about all the things we saved to settle by ourselves, and kept apart from healing. Let us give them all to Him Who knows the way to look upon them so that they will disappear. Truth is His message…His are the lessons God would have us learn… practicing in the form established for the day. And try to give it application to the happenings the hour brought, so that the next one is free of the one before… let not one hour cast a shadow on the one that follows, and when that one goes, let everything that happened in its course go with it. Thus will we remain unbound, in peace eternal in the world of time.

We but bring everything to Him, with this faith upon our hearts:

I will forgive, and this will disappear…

Lesson 190:
I choose the joy of God instead of pain...
Yes, joy is the state in which we feel most like our Self, yes? Really, if you take a gander at the rewind tape of your so-called life, you could agree that althought pain, and sometimes intense or long drawn out extended pain, makes one feel 'out-of-sorts', not oneself, feeling you can't really operate normally in your life, until that pain is gone and joy has returned... We were designed for joy, by joy, and we will seek that alignment with our Self, regardless. What if, as the lesson suggests, it is merely a choice.
We are always, ultimately making one choice; to recocognize reality or see illusions, experience joy or pain, Heaven or hell, truth or the false. And which choice we make then becomes the father of our perceptions at any given time... it becomes our teacher and reinforcer of what we want to believe.
Here's the thing: life is thought. It is formulated idea extended. Add a little belief to a fantasy which fosters the opposite to truth and all manner of its evidence will seem to reinforce it (sending the sentinals of darkness, as it says in the text). The Course continually reminds us that ideas leave not their source. We are the idea of God's joy extended as creation. We are as God created us; we are awake to this one truth or we sleep. The form illusions dreaming is irrelevent, actually. Even in our so-called physical dreaming-life, when we are afraid, in pain, out of touch with joy and love, we employ our faculties to get us out of the situation. The problem lies with the belief that we are really in that dream reality.
I remember when it hit me like a ton of bricks~ this idea that joy was my only natural state... I had been meditating and contemplating my day and God's Will for me, and that sense that 'all is well and I would be guided' seemed to elude me. I began to contemplate what the circumstances of my mind were when I felt sure that I could hear the Voice for God, and when, like that morning, it seemed out of my reach. As the observer of my mind, I could see that I was feeling frustrated and I was seeking answers to my problems, (sort of like Holy Spirit was my errand-boy instead of my teacher, interpreter and guide). At that moment of realization of the error in my thinking, my mood went from one of frustration-pain, to one of joy and excitement... Instantly, I felt tuned in, available to recieve a transmission consistant with the really solution I sought, which was the return to joy-love. I realized I could not serve two masters. It was all or nothing.
There is no compromise in this. I choose the joy of God or I choose pain... and everything I experience will reflect the choice I make. The groovy part is, that the way I feel is always a berometer to forgive the false, and choose once again.
Now, I allow my natural state of joy to take me into my meditative state instead of hoping to extract joy from meditation. I am as God created me and I am joyously waiting in quiet expectation to know my Father's Will... and only this, for this is the only thing that truly brings joy to His creations... This is my purpose here; to be joy instead of pain in every seeming circumstance, being the balm that restores our natural state of joy, that we may begin to see clearly...
Let us together, today, choose the joy of God instead of pain...

Lesson 135:

If I defend myself I am attacked…

This lesson brings home to us where we must operate from if we are identified with being a body, in a world of bodies, surviving and trying to be happy here... It brings to mind the subversive, undermining quality inherent in self-initiated plans, which, pretty much are a requirement for survival, if one believes this world real…

You know, I didn’t even hear the part in the lesson about ‘self-initiated plans and that planning was a defense against the truth and trusting the Holy Spirit, the first couple of times I did the lessons. I was way too caught-up in what it was saying about the body identification, since I was aware that body identification was where I was doing business from in my so-called life at the time. The simple logic is clear: if I am, or feel I need to defend myself, whether it is my body or my position or even opinion, I must be identifying myself as weak and in need of protection. I must feel fairly insecure within my ’self’ if I’m always in constant defense… The next natural connection is how this applied to relationships. The body’s entire defense system; smarts, status, looks, etc. are for the purpose of having relationships one can feel one control-by-self-design, and to keep its parameters protected.

Needless to say, at some point, I came to realize that ‘i’ (self-concept-self) was only having imaginary relationships with imaginary figures and an imaginary ‘self’. Unsatisfying.

So much of what passes for ‘connection’ conversation; even entire ‘special relationships’ in this world is based in this defense posture. We pose as confident figures to be reckoned with, while secretly we feel vulnerable and weak and vigilant to maintain seeming control. We impose our ‘self-importance’ onto all situations and conversations, seeing only the dynamics that will support or threaten, all in defense keeping hidden the dark, secret self, beneath. We are all the ‘hero’ of the dream we dream… The miracle brings to mind another way of perceiving everything. While seemingly still constructed as before, yet unified purpose, it offers a single meaning. One which forgives by recognizing the false for what it is. We see that the truth of who we are reflected upon the dream instead…

Back to this thing about self-imitated plans… Here’s how it went for me. I really could not help but notice that my best laid plans never really worked out the way I hoped…It seems one can’t really control all the aspects and possibilities that could figure in to the outcome…

I was one who felt safe in structure; give me the rules, how to get the job done and what results I could expect, if I agreed that it would further perpetuate my self-concept, I could deal, work hard, succeed… I ask only that the structure need deliver on its promises, what I decided it promised… No need to trust ~ I had a contract, if only in my mind… What happened for me was that, when faced with the futility of gaining security, certainty and happiness through this structure-system was a complete bust, I saw it for what it was instead, merely a dream about a world of which I was but a part. I dropped my defenses, with white flag in hand, I ask for the other way…

Through the miracle, I began to experience myself as the dreamer of this dream. I also began to see that all its scenes and scenarios were written in the past; couched in precepts that simply weren’t relevant to the present experience of love that forgiveness offered me. Part of the undoing of my thought system included looking at how making plans (that’s any desired outcome in mind) immediately put me under the guidance of the voice for which the plan was made. And I would be swept-up in the future-izing momentum of my plan. That rendered me temporarily unavailable to hear the Voice for God within my mind…

Here’s the twisted part. It seemed I’d be beholden to play it (self-initiated plan) out till my plans failed. Or (gratefully), until I would come to some out of time instant of awareness that I was the dreamer of the dream and I could dream the dream of trust in God’s plan, instead.

As my experience with allowing the Holy Spirit to guide increased, and forgiveness began to reflect a different world, I began to experience trust. I didn’t know that I had never felt trust before. As a matter of fact I would have argued a case for it… but everything in illusion is conditional and limited.

It was not until I began to experience the peace of God that comes to the mind when it is truly still an instant, that the awareness of trust began to give meaning to my life and my function here.

OF COURSE, it’s all being handled for the best possible good, for each seeming individual, at the stage of belief in the time-space cosmos, they have placed themselves, at any given moment or circumstance!

Only Mind vast enough to see the entire picture, every fine nuance, the past, future and the wholeness beyond the fragments, uniting them in One Moment, NOW… which is the return to eternity… Could be in charge, Yes!? Dud, that’s not me.

Somewhere in my mind I had taken on the mantra “Everything goes my way”, and now I was beginning to see why… What it meant wasn’t what I originally had it wired-up as, part of ‘creating my own reality’ doctrine, which is forgiven as one recognizes First Cause: Creation is of God and that which is not of Him exists not at all.

The ‘my’ of my mantra was no longer speaking for the self of concepts, but was revealing itself as the Self~ the true identity in God. … When the temptation to defend arises, it is now seen as a forgiveness lesson, easily learned, for the yummy award of certainty that accompanies trust in God’s plan for salvation…

From today’s lesson:”... And in the light and joy of simple trust, you will but wonder why you ever thought that you must be defended from release…If I defend myself I am attacked. But in defenselessness I will be strong, and I will learn what my defenses hide… Nothing but that. We present our self to our Creator as we really are”.

Thank you for joining me in this memory of defenselessness and trust… everything does go our way, for ours is the way God appointed it to be…

Lesson 124:
Let me remember I am one with God…
Who we are, is unaffected by what we think we are and what we believe about ourselves. The world around us, however, is the direct result of these thoughts.
The the fundamental law of perception is: “We see what we believe is there, and we believe it there because we want it there”… or another way the Course puts it is… “You will rejoice at what you see because you see it to rejoice.”
God’s basic law is: Love creates itself, and nothing but itself.
The miracle is the shift in perception that allows us to see the reflection of God’s law reflected everywhere. It doesn’t change the base unreality of the world we see, because we believe in its reality. That belief in it’s reality, coupled with the fact that it is Creatively impossible for us to separate entirely from our Creator, comes the apparent mechanism of choosing. Perception rests on choosing, where the knowledge of God does not. As long as we believe we perceive, we have choice.
Ultimately we have but one choice within this life of perception. That choice is always based from what we believe we are; always aligning with the guidance from the voice that speaks to the experience of our oneness with God (Holy Spirit part of Mind) or the old familiar lonely drone of chaos; specialnes -other-ness – separate interests...
This lesson is the practice of ‘turning our mind’ to God, o n l y… Which is to say, turning to creation and to truth. The return of mind to the memory of God depends on our forgiveness of everyone and every situation, event or circumstance. What we forgive becomes a part of how we see ourselves, our united oneness with each other as well as the Oneness with our Creator.
We are free, but the recognition of our freedom comes through our willingness to allow the memory of God and our oneness in Him to return to our mind…
Let me remember I am one with God, at one with all my brothers and my Self, in everlasting holiness and peace…
We do this turning our mind to God, through accepting the Atonement for our Self; forgiving every thought and projection that came from our separation belief. We then allow a new and forgiven perception of oneness to be unveiled, and the shining face of Christ reflected in the mirror of our re-identification with Who we are, at one with God…
Forgiveness teaches us to let God’s memory return to us, and give it to the world in thankfulness… It is this systematic re- tuning and re turning that stabilizes the foundation of our faith, and amplifies our trust.
We simply suit up and show up to our function in God’s plan for salvation and thus receive as we give, our eternal happiness, returned forever to the Mind we share as One, the Mind that is ONE with God…
Let this be the day… that together we mirror and view the reflection of our everlasting holiness and peace inherent in our identity as Christ the Holy son of God, united on the oneness that is the truth…

Lesson 118:

God’s peace and joy are mine.

Today I will accept God’s peace and joy, in glad exchange for all the substitutes that I have made for happiness and peace.

Let me be still and listen to the truth.

Let my own feeble voice be still, and let me hear the might Voice for Truth Itself assure me that I am God’s perfect Son.

All ways~ always, all I ever wanted was peace and joy, consistently, constantly. I only wanted to not have something missing. I only wanted not to feel incomplete and needy. I wanted to be happy. But I wasn’t.

I was so obliviously immersed in the ‘outside world’ concept, looking for the right set of circumstances, (people, things, looks, events, labels) , whatever would prove my worthiness. And once worthy, I would be happy. And that worthiness and happiness would, hopefully, bring me peace and rest from an inner state of despair I seemed to have been born with. I seemed to have been born believing that the body was me.

It seemed that from the first second my bare feet hit the ground, I’d been afraid I had some free floating fear of being found out… I felt split between this inner fearful, unworthy self, which I kept exclusively to myself, and this outward persona of the people.

The mantra of my public self was, “can’t everybody just get along? Can’t we all just be happy”? I needed people to obey…

My private mind was another story. It was the private lonely hell of not-enough-ness, of undetermined guilty unworthiness. It had another mantra, “I’m sorry…”

I see now that my public jovial personality was an idol designed to maneuver my environment into acting and being and feeling in such a way that it would cover over my feelings of inadequacy and secret shame/ guilt.

There was a constant story going on; of “If you would just (fill in the blank), I would feel complete, I could be at peace, I would be happy…” I developed a style of deflection and humor that even I believed at times. Until, of course, I was alone.

Within my own private mind, I was stuck in the loneliness of nothingness and the emptiness my idols left in their wake… It was an intolerable state, hence the compulsive drive to people my world with an audience for my public self.

Even my ideas about love were meant to satisfy this unfulfilled-ness… I was a user and everyone and thing were my drugs. I was also a pusher, in desperate need of companions willing to pretend.

Here’s the thing; all illusions are like this. They are idols designed to give us what we think we lack. They are specific, little forms for which we willingly squeeze ourselves into, for the promise of joy and peace.

Like the course says, “It is as if you said, "I have no need of everything. This little thing I want, and it will be as everything to me." And this must fail to satisfy, because it is your will that everything be yours. Decide for idols and you ask for loss. Decide for truth and everything is yours… Behind the search for every idol lies the yearning for completion. Wholeness has no form because it is unlimited.” (T-30.III.1-3)

Gratefully, what happened for me was total dissatisfaction with every idol, with myself and the entire fragmented state of illusive illusory happiness. It is a state of death by belief-system.

At some point, we all recognize, back in ancient memory, deep within the mind, that this whole trumped-up gig is a fraud… I did. That life is being. It is the essence of love present whenever, for an instant we are stilled from the raucousness of what we called life.

This awareness doesn’t actually speak the English language, but a more universal language of experience. It feels like something ‘real’ instead of the separate shadows of the bad film, is reaching to pull you into awareness. Here’s my story;

On disillusionments death bed, in an attempt to stop the #@! %in’ screaming, the bossing me around, the rules and broken promises, the hell, the loneliness, I fell to my knees, spent… ‘I’ was over.

I prayed the honest prayer of the desperate and innocent… “There must be another way! I want it! Please help!”… The screaming stopped.

And truth came softly, quietly in the essence of peace and safety, feeling like a whisper saying, “You are perfect love, complete and wholly loved. It will be all right now. I’ve got it all taken care of; you need not worry. There is nothing to fear, you are at home and I am with you. You will never be alone again…” This is the peace of God. This is the fullness of completion. This is constant abiding joy… This is the foundation of my life today. This is sort of the manta, in my language, which truth speaks and guides me with today… What substitute would I settle for instead of this?

None. When the temptation to forget arises, the compulsion to squeeze myself or you into small thoughts of forms of nothingness arise, the surefire remedy is to simply be still and listen…

I’m not talking about ‘finding a quiet place by myself, somewhere, although for years it did.

I am referring to the state that is always within mind; always present and active regardless of what the body surroundings seem to be. It is instantly available for the willing mind that wholly desires it... It always comes…

We are but asked to let our true will be done, and seek no longer for the things we don’t really want…. “Indeed salvation asks so little, not so much. It asks for nothing in reality. And even in illusions it but asks forgiveness be the substitute for fear. Such is the only rule for happy dreams”.

We are free from illusions grip, because it is our will is one with God’s; fear is gone because its purpose is forgiveness, not idolatry. And by this will, we are but restored to what we are. This is God’s plan for salvation, to give the Son back to Himself, in truth.

“The real world is the state of mind in which the only purpose of the world is seen to be forgiveness. Fear is not its goal, for the escape from guilt becomes its aim. The value of forgiveness is perceived and takes the place of idols, which are sought no longer, for their "gifts" are not held dear. No rules are idly set, and no demands are made of anyone or anything to twist and fit into the dream of fear. Instead, there is a wish to understand all things created as they really are. And it is recognized that all things must be first forgiven, and understood”…

Thank you for joining me in the real world where God’s peace and joy are ours and we rest assured in the stillness that speaks the voice of truth…

Lesson 112:

Light and joy and peace abide in me…

I am as God created me….

This is a solid statement of cause and effect. God created eternally changeless love from the eternally changeless nature of God … All that is, is all that is. God is Cause. His Son is effect.

Because of my experience with the capacity of the mind to deceive itself once a belief in some idle wish has been accepted, I can’t say enough about how critical it was for me to finally allow into my awareness, how ones ‘authorship premise’ is the father of perceived reality. Do I believe “I am as God created me” or is my belief rooted in the premise that I authored myself? The later is always disguised as ‘self-improvement’ using guilt, regret, planning and worry to manipulate seeming circumstances in my so-called life

It is our belief in this authorship premise that seems to give us our experience of reality. Where our belief lies becomes the fleshing out of what seems to be reality. Everything we perceive is within the realm of effect. Now try this on for size: “The entire perceived world is the effect of an authority issue”. It is the effect of the belief that reality is ours to select from. In other words, “I am the author of my reality and myself, and God for that matter”...

This wish to somehow make different or more than what God created is the basis of the ego thought system. This is the premise from which all perception arose. This premise, which fathered this entire world including my so-call life, is what the Course aptly calls the ‘authority problem’. And because we believe it is true, we don’t question the premise, but rather attempt to correct the symptoms. “Every symptom the ego makes involves a contradiction in terms, because the mind is split between the ego and the Holy Spirit, so that whatever the ego makes is incomplete and contradictory. This untenable position is the result of the authority problem which, because it accepts the one inconceivable thought as its premise, can produce only ideas that are inconceivable”. (T-VI.7)

I am forever humbled by to unforgettable moment when I died to my-self, and remembered my Self. ‘Trying’ is a bizarre tool of the ego, keeping one always a step away from recognition… Yet somehow, that tiny willingness to ‘not know’, and be shown, one instant of willingness to cease to exist as ‘me’ and there it was… finally after trying/avoiding the recognition of Self as well as the dynamic that was blocking my awareness of it.

I’d been dancing around the subject , using ‘intellectual understanding’ (boobie-prize) for years, even while reading and studying the Course’s message. It was there in black and white. I just couldn’t see it. I just wasn’t ready to accept awareness of this critical premise in which I so believed, yet was oblivious to… Why? I had an authority issue. Plain and simple.

I didn’t want to give up being right, being the boss of myself, etc… Its funny how one can be drowning in the pool self-made destruction and still not want to be bossed around. It boggles the mind…

The Course says that, “The ability to see a logical outcome depends on the willingness to see it, but its truth has nothing to do with your willingness. Truth is God’s Will. Share His Will and you share what He knows… As long as you are in doubt about what you are, you will be confused about joy and pain. This confusion is the cause of the whole idea of sacrifice. (T-7X.2-3)

Now, one holy instant of complete surrender of the self-concept, of wholly desiring the truth brings into light the premise of truth, already within the premise of Reality/God/Christ… This is the critical juncture where we see the self-concept for what it is ~an image and the ‘Self’ shining within, undefined and pure…“ I am the home of light and joy and peace. I welcome them into the home I share with God, because I am a part of Him”... I am as God created me… I will remain forever as I was, created by the Changeless like Himself. And I am one with Him, and He with me”. We are God’s Will. Sharing His Will is not really open to choice, although it seems to be when we believe the in the reality of separation. As a matter of fact, the Course tells us, “The whole separation lies in this error. The only way out of the error is to decide that you do not have to decide anything. Everything has been given you by God’s decision. That is His Will, and you cannot undo it…” (T-7.X.6)

Every seeming problem, judgment or fear dissolves into this big cosmic belly laugh, once this is seen for what it is and we place our faith here, in the premise of reality. Now we can lean back and trust… Who we are remains untouched by all antics of the authority issue dancing with itself.

What a relief it is to dis-identify with this silly quest to make-up my self and you.

I am no longer interested in being exiled together as a way of bonding. The miracle has switched on the eternal light and shines on the world of perception with the reflection of our unity in light and joy and peace… Love … just as God created…

Review III~Lesson 111:

“Miracles are seen in light… Miracles are seen in light, and light and strength are one…”

Miracles are seen in light…. I cannot see in darkness. Let the light of holiness and truth light up my mind, and let me see the innocence within… Place the ideas within your mind, and let it use them as it chooses. Give it faith that it will use them wisely, being helped in its decisions by the One Who gave the thoughts to you. What can you trust but what is in your mind? Have faith, in these reviews, the means the Holy Spirit uses will not fail. The wisdom of your mind will come to your assistance. Give direction at the outset; then lean back in quiet faith, and let the mind employ the thoughts you gave as they were given you for it to use.

Miracles are seen in light…. I cannot see in darkness. Let the light of holiness and truth light up my mind, and let me see the innocence within…

As we begin this review period, we demonstrate trust that we are ready to s e e….

This review period speaks to the Christ within. It’s sort of a communiqué of trust from Christ to Christ, saying that we recognize, on whatever level, that our will and God’s Will are one in the same.

For the part of us still unsure, it is a leap of faith in undoing our doubt and replacing it in with the Holy Spirit as the only guide we want.

Also as we embrace this review, we find solace in its affirmation of devotion to healing and truth. Merely showing up daily to a practice, to the best of our ability at the time, is devotion.

It demonstrates a level of integration and trust that the Holy Spirit is running the show. Trust that every seeming situation has already been made ready, and our sight along with it, has been adjusted for vision and forgiveness as we look upon the world we see and move about in.

We are the messengers of God that light the world through forgiven sight. The past is gone. And what stand before us ~ is what stands within us. We are One Self, united with our Creator in perfect harmony and love… The Atonement answered to all we thought we thought. We but remember that we have a function to fulfill: forgive and be happy! …

God placed the whole of His Love within all; the entire holographic fabric of our true identity in Him, in full faith in His creation, which is you and I, each and every One… Dare we allow full recognition, NOW?

Breathe Spirit and we take our place among the ministers of God, NOW! Our so-called journey, so far has given us the re-cognition that no one walks alone. We made the choice to walk with him, our brother, our Self. And all the strength of God, administered through miracles, goes with us.

~Miracles are seen in light, and light and strength are one…. I see through strength, the gift of God to me. My weakness is the dark His gift dispels, by giving me His strength to take its place.

There’s simply no room for fear where love alone resides. It replaces darkness with light and weakness with strength. We walk lightly now, for we have the momentum of a unified purpose bringing freedom from the figuring it out ~the heaviness of doubt. Instead, we see miracles everywhere.

Haven’t you noticed that every situation is just people looking for any excuse to be kind, to receive your goodness; your smile, your love, to be seen through forgiving eyes? And haven’t you noticed everyone just wants to feel safe, so they can express the love within them in any way they can, if giving half a chance.

This is how the forgiven world looks~ a ‘big miracle exchange convention~ reflecting wholeness.

Miracles collapse time. And don’t you notice that while these exchanges are happening, you have no sense of time? There is an awareness of the light that hold us timelessly in peace, yes?

Thank you for blessing me in this joint purpose that sees with light another way of looking upon the world. You have my full faith and trust and love…

Lesson 105:

God's peace and joy are mine….

I give all to you in order that I recognize that it is mine. We obviously can’t give what we don’t have. So if I can give you, for you, total peace and joy, it must be mine to give…. Ah, the feeling that immediately accompanies this giving, it’s like slipping into a warm bath after a long cold night, surrendering to its ability to release…
Thoughts increase by being given away. I want for you perfect peace, which in turn release us to receive our joint inheritance. It is the holiest, most joyous experience I know. While immersed in it, there is not a trace of anything but the total extending, expanding forever, looping back to itself becoming all with all. It is the experience of limitlessness, speaking only to itself…

I have to give it to all, once received. I have no other choice but to complete myself in you and slip quietly into timelessness, allowing total immersion in the eternal waters of peace and joyous celebration of completion ~ How else could it happen?
Right now, I can hardly remember how used to think. How something was other than my Self… When there seemed to be a separate piece of nothing made to take the place of this glorious state of grace forever. It all seems surreal ~the world and all its ‘special’, separate, rejected parts.
It’s amusing to watch the mind make-up the world by attention to its memory. It seemingly starts with the erroneous desire for recall of the past, which starts bringing it into focus. Next, other ‘supporting’ thoughts magnetize together and things start to formulate. And simultaneously, present reality of limitless, joyous peace, gets push to the back of the mind, through the vigilance to realize something that is not there. Once fixated, the ego lays out innumerable possibilities, endless choices, options and alternatives to keep the mind busy and distracted and mindlessly involved in the scene on the screen. Win-lose hierarchies unfold; between the important and the not so important, the crucial and the critical, the better, stronger, and faster, the good, the bad and the ugly… And there ya go~ off to the races… or…
It is ours to slip with presence, back and beyond in the mind, and watch the traveling show from here, this place of total peace and joy, resting in the belly of creation and visit or gifts of the same to all we see before us… This is the presence of my Self as dreamer of the dream…. Ah, yes… this is the vigilance for only God and His Kingdom…
“Do only that”… The lessons of the Holy Spirit, laid out in words in chapter 6 of the Course text, give us the detailed instruction to allow the Holy Spirit to undo everything we have made, and translates it into a learning device which shows our belief in unreality by reinterpreting everything the ego uses to maintain the pretense of ‘separation’, to demonstrate against it… Click here to read some excerpts from this section:

It is with the deepest appreciation that I am joined with you in God’s peace and joy. I offer you the these gifts and my desire for your full acceptance of them, that full realization of the truth of what We Are as one be restored to full realization to all the Sonship.

Lesson 104:

I seek but what belongs to me in truth...

Joy and peace… These are ultimately the grand prize, aren’t they? As we begin to be self-aware, and as we start taking stock of our motives and reasons and excuses beyond merely looking at actions and justifications, we begin to get really honest with ourselves about ourselves. We begin to see a definite pattern immersing beneath it all ~ the quest for happiness and peace of mind, n’est pas? Is there any choice we ever make, that if we’re candid with ourselves, isn’t aimed for this experience? Everything from strategic planning for the future, to escapism, to competition, acquisition, romantic love, wanting children, not wanting them, committees and clubs, even defending and attacking, aren’t what we’re looking ultimately is to experience peace and joy?
Somewhere inside ourselves, we all have a deep innate sense that we deserve to be happy; that the gifts of joy and peace are the one ‘selfishness’ allowed, yes?....Perhaps we can’t totally separated ourselves from the truth of our inheritance, no matter how huge the mass hallucination is….We still forge every choice we make within it to get us back to a state that mimics what we cannot be without; our very make-up: joy and peace. We are compelled beyond our identity to seek them... because they are the truth. It is the call of love. We just run it through our sleeping mind’s constructs of self-images, etc… Why else would we pay penitence, make deals, defend our choices, keep up with the Jones, change things, self-improve, give things up, bargain…sell our soul…? We have it wired up that these things are necessary to acquire peace and joy… We can feel there is something more than this dance, something deep within, covered over by our compulsive efforts to get them. Yet it requires tremendous willingness to be still an instant and listen for the truth… (It turns out to be the short cut)…
I remember when I first tried to wrap my mind around the idea that perhaps everyone was doing exactly what they were, the very best they could at that moment in time, given all their beliefs and fears and understanding, because all of us are just trying to secure joy and peace for ourselves. I was working with this magnificent mentor at the time, and she was offering this context in response to my ‘parental issues’. I remember the resistance I had to giving up having been wronged by them in someway. I didn’t want I liked having, well, you know, a ready bag of justifications for all mistakes I didn’t want or feel I could bear, to be accountable for…
I remember the feeling of loneliness and tremendous fear the swelled at the very thought of trading in this idea for the righteous rights to victim hood, which I held so dear. These were my armor against a careless, vicious world where the bloodsuckers were no respecters of persons… All the ‘takers’ out there were my competitors in the battle of the fittest, which I felt I had already lost (and shouldn’t have)… How could I accept defeat with out this ‘martyr identity’ to keep me safe? After all, even few predators try to penetrate the walls of the martyr. That’s sort of a rule…
Anyway, here was my realization. I started to feel/see a benefit of adjusting my thinking to accept that perhaps my parents and others, did what they did because they either thought it would make them happier (even if it wasn’t going to come till after death, and they had judgment day to face and maybe a celestial kingdom to be worthy for, so…) or they were trying to find the shortest route to restore some semblance of peace of mind in a chaotic situation. Changed everything!
It’s impossible to not feel better if you shift the premise just this much; that perhaps nothing, anyone else did, or is doing is personal. ~ They’re just trying to be happy and at peace. It’s also impossible not to see that this was the truth for all. It’s not just a good justification, but an honest evaluation of motives, convoluted though it may seem, it is the constant ‘on-beam’ to find peace and joy. One can’t help but see the subtle layers emerge; see how much interpretation, actions, judgments, fears were ultimately, a quest for happiness. Ah, how deep the rabbit-hole goes, eh? The mere acceptance of the possibility of this idea of blamelessness seems to brush off some of the layers of vigilance (often referred to as stress). And what was underneath, do you suppose? Yes, you got it ~a little peace…
We seek but what belongs to us in truth and the truth is; joy and peace are attributes of the love of God, which fathered us. The very fabric of God’s thought of his Son is woven with the total, constant joy and peace of God. This is our inheritance… It is the stuff of our creation and nothing we have made-belief of ourselves, has altered this in anyway. Of course we seek joy and peace; it is the completion of our Self: the holy unity with each other and God as One.
Of course, this is all we want. It is the experience of the love that we are in truth. Nothing else will satisfy. The Atonement answered the possibility that we could completely forget this in the maze of separate thoughts of the past by placing the Holy Spirit indelibly within our mind, as the call to remember truth. Forgiveness is the mechanism, which the Holy Spirit employs when compulsion to revisit the past upon NOW, surfaces up.
We seek but what belongs to us in truth… and, every remnant of make-believe we have covered over it is seen for the nothingness it is and is cleared off the face of Christ. What we experience, shining beneath, within, is the pure, holy alter to God and his Son, where PEACE and JOY are ours, belonging to the truth…