Saturday, January 19, 2008

~'The One and not alone: lesson 19

Lesson 19;

"I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts…"

I am so humbled by the holographic nature of the Course, the thorough, all encompassing theoretical structure of the text ~the simplicity and uncompromising tenacity of the workbook lessons… All ~ to assist the reversal of my up-side down thinking and allow for the undoing that lets me integrate the principles of the Courses’ message through my practice of forgiveness. (And, I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts).
Over the years I have tried to be a perfect student, do the lessons perfectly, (I failed) and what it showed me was that I had an authority/authorship belief structure to forgive… I have used the Course’ metaphors and symbols (and so many others) like a drug to comfort myself~ rather than look deeply, at times.

I see now that that has been because I frightened myself off from looking~ really looking~ at the unconscious fearful beliefs which remained unquestioned and hidden (**ego deflection device~ always at the ready**).

The beauty of this system is that all these tactics turn out to be part of the gig…the experience of my ‘private thoughts ~ up for review and reversal~ all loop back around and show me the opportunity to forgive this as well… ~though the tendency to want to judge myself severely instead has certainly raised its head ~forgive, again~… Yet, the consistent experience of inner peace comes only when nothing remains assumed to be real and true. Every thought, assigned equal status brings me only peace, in looking at my thoughts and accepting that I am not alone in experiencing the effects of them; I see they’re all the same. It turns out that only exceptions bring the illusion of conflict, and it is becoming more and more obvious to me that ~Truth has no exceptions.
“The idea for today is obviously the reason why your seeing does not affect you alone.”(L19)

Here is a yummy piece David Hoffmiester shared, apropos to pass on right now…”Until the mind accepts complete forgiveness, the ego will seem to interpret the world from its personal perspective. Right-mindedness sees that nothing is personal because it sees the false as false. It sees that none of the images are true and that all value and meaning are of the Holy Spirit's Purpose. Everything
is an exercise in discernment, in experiencing only a right-minded interpretation of the world. Healing is right-mindedness and sickness is the attempt to make something personal.
The Holy Spirit uses the symbols of the world to lead to the forgiven world, and therefore none of the symbols mean anything "in and of themselves." To adore and worship a symbol is the attempt to make an idol and value something specific. Yet
specifics were made to take the place of Abstract Love, and no thing can substitute for God's Divine Love. Specialness is the attempt to separate out a person, place, thing, time, or event and hold it as more valuable than the whole. The ego therefore lifts up certain specifics as better than other specifics, thereby denying that all specifics are meaningless. This error seems to take many forms, though the forms do not matter. In right-mindedness error is impossible, for by definition error is the ego and the ego isn't real. This is the healing recognition that the Holy Spirit offers.
ake no attempt to make anything special if you want constant peace and happiness. You are the One. There is nothing outside You. Such is the Truth. Specialness seeks for scraps of value in the things of the world. Specialness seeks for special people, special techniques, special rituals, special places, and special events. Specialness emphasizes form because it knows not Love, Which is Spirit. Yet nothing specific is sacred. Who You are as Spirit is sacred, and the world was made to push the sacred out of awareness and distract the mind with meaningless specific bits of trivia and nothingness.”

Friday, January 18, 2008

~Never alone~lesson 18

Lesson 18:

“I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing…”

I look about me, with this body’s eyes and it is impossible, anymore, for me to take for granted what I think I see.. I only see my interpretation~ my “accepted version” of what every particular thing is. I witness that everything I seem to see; every encounter with others, any exchange of any kind has been designed by this “packaged” interpretation. I see only what I expect to see. Furthermore, the body’s eyes were made to see what the blueprint of the separation…
...It turns out ~ I’m blind! Yes! But, finally, simply, gratefully, I accept that…. The thing about accepting that I'm blind is that I also accept that I require assistance to see what things are and where I am going. Turns out, too, perfectly, that right here within me, is this assistance; ‘Holy Spirit spectacles’, so to speak, designed to sharpen the mind for vision, in order to see a new world.

For so many years I relied on the analytical abilities of my mind to take what my eyes seemed to see and to seemingly assess what ‘the reality’ of the situation was. Truly, applying these very lessons from the Course in my life, regardless…. offered the miracle of sight, and the possibility that I was wrong about what I thought, saw and assessed. The script was written; all that the one mind that allowed for the ‘tiny mad idea’ to have a play, dictated every possibility and the Atonement corrected it. Every possibility played out and was answered the instant it was made. The rote interpretation was answered by the re-interpreter placed indelibly within for as long as the regurgitation of the past fancies itself within the mind of God’s Son…

From my wrong mind or ‘packaged sight, I can contribute only to the idea of problems; needing solutions…being the victim or the hero… it’s a merry-go-round I happily let go by now… Like John Lennon’s song…rather “watch the wheels go round”. The course says there is really only one problem ~ we think we are separate from God and therefore, each other…and, there is only One answer ~ we’re NOT~ “forgive and see this differently…forgive and this will disappear…”

How grateful I am to have this curriculum, these lessons, to train my mind, and therefore ours (after all I’m not alone in experience the effects of my seeing)…um yummy…

I ask myself, “How am I seeing this, through the eyes of the ego, or through Christ’s vision?” (Since it can only be one of those options). ~Best to ask my vision guide to show me what I’m seeing… saves time, gives peace…

The part in the text under the heading “The Justice of God” keeps pushing its way to the front of my mind…

“I. The Link to Truth

It cannot be that it is hard to do the task that Christ appointed you to do, since it is He Who does it. And in the doing of it will you learn the body merely seems to be the means to do it. For the Mind is His. And so it must be yours. His Holiness directs the body through the mind at one with Him. And you are manifest unto your holy brother, as he to you. Here is the meeting of the holy Christ unto Himself; nor any differences perceived to stand between the aspects of His Holiness, which meet and join and raise Him to His Father, whole and pure and worthy of His everlasting Love.

How can you manifest the Christ in you except to look on holiness and see Him there? Perception tells you are manifest in what you see. Behold the body, and you will believe that you are there. And every body that you look upon reminds you of yourself; your sinfulness, your evil and, above all, your death. And would you not despise the one who tells you this, and seek his death instead? The message and the messenger are one. And you must see your brother as yourself. Framed in his body you will see your sinfulness, wherein you stand condemned. Set in his holiness, the Christ in him proclaims Himself as you.

Perception is a choice of what you want yourself to be; the world you want to live in, and the state in which you think your mind will be content and satisfied. It chooses where you think your safety lies, at your decision. It reveals yourself to you, as you would have you be. And always is it faithful to your purpose, from which it never separates, nor gives the slightest witness unto anything the purpose in your mind upholdeth not. Perception is a part of what it is your purpose to behold, for means and end are never separate. And thus you learn what seems to have a life apart has none.

are the means for God; not separate, nor with a life apart from His. His life is manifest in you who are His Son. Each aspect of Himself is framed in holiness and perfect purity, in love celestial and so complete it wishes only that it may release all that it looks upon unto itself. Its radiance shines through each body that it looks upon, and brushes all its darkness into light merely by looking past it the light. The veil is lifted through its gentleness, and nothing hides the face of Christ from its beholders. You and your brother stand before Him now, to let Him draw aside the veil that seems to keep you separate and apart.

Since you believe that you are separate, Heaven presents itself to you as separate, too. Not that it is in truth, but that the link that has been given you to join the truth may reach to you through what you understand. Father and Son and Holy Spirit are as One, as all your brothers join as one in truth. Christ and His Father never have been separate, and Christ abides within your understanding, in the part of you that shares His Father's Will. The Holy Spirit links the other part-the tiny, mad desire to be separate, different and special-to the Christ, to make the oneness clear to what is really one. In this world this is not understood, but can be taught.

The Holy Spirit serves Christ's purpose in your mind, so that the aim of specialness can be corrected where the error lies. Because His purpose still is one with both the Father and the Son, He knows the Will of God and what you really will. But this is understood by mind perceived as one, aware that it is one, and so experienced. It is the Holy Spirit's function to teach you how this oneness is experienced, what you must do that it can be experienced, and where you should go to do it.

All this takes note of time and place as if they were discrete, for while you think that part of you is separate, the concept of a Oneness joined as One is meaningless. It is apparent that a mind so split could never be the Teacher of a Oneness which unites all things within Itself. And so What is within this mind, and does unite all things together, must be its Teacher. Yet must It use the language that this mind can understand, in the condition in which it thinks it is. And It must use all learning to transfer illusions to the truth, taking all false ideas of what you are, and leading you beyond them to the truth that beyond them. All this can very simply be reduced to this:
What is the same can not be different, and what is one can not have separate parts.” (T-25.I.1-7)

I am just sitting here weeping tears of joy… I am so moved by the beauty and profundity of Course…of this passage…this day…this moment…with you…~all gratitude and glory to God… ~amen~

Thursday, January 17, 2008

~The view from within:lesson 17~

Lesson 17:

“I see no neutral things…”

…because I have no neutral thoughts…

I notice a background of comfort abiding me as I am going through the lessons with ya all, this time around.
It used to be, back in the beginning, I was always feeling afraid I would forget throughout the day –that I would do too few practice periods to “get it”, that I would be unconsciously sabotaging and defeating myself. Of course, all that came to pass. …And now; well, now I notice I can’t forget, really. “I see no neutral things,” (or whatever the lesson) answers every question the day seems to ask.
That happens is the miracle; the shift in perception from thinking I have any idea about what I think I see, to realizing that, that very idea of thinking I know, is the very deflector the ego is using at the time, to avert me from using the mirror of my thoughts for my function of forgiveness. The Danét character, doesn’t know. And, alas, the One Who does know, has been invited to reinterpret my so call life, by my willing commitment to the curriculum set forth in God’s plan for salvation… (even if that little ‘I’ thinks I fail to remember something I deem important… the Holy Spirit always has my back!
It is a comfort to realize that regardless of what I might think I think… the Holy Spirit is reaching me at the perfect match possible to my available willingness for the maximum benefit at this time, without increasing fear or reproducing time. I feel cuddled in a sense of timeless safety, while I let the past be undone: I watch the past images drift by, not ever really lodging themselves anymore; while I take instruction from within. Furthermore, I am not alone and we are One…
So what, if it is, that I, Danét, see no neutral things because I have no neutral thoughts…That works for me… I merely happily watch the production from Here, Now,~ and not know ‘what’s going to happen or what it means when it does, and wait… Thanks for joining me above the battleground. It seems David Whyte, a delicious poet I love is present in my mind this morning, as well …His depiction from
Tilicho Lake

In this high place
it is as simple as this,
leave everything you know behind.

Step toward the cold surface,
say the old prayer of rough love
and open both arms.

Those who come with empty hands
will stare into the lake astonished,
there, in the cold light
reflecting pure snow,

the true shape of your own face.

~ David Whyte ~

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

~Lotsa thoughts about zero idle/neutral thoughts~lesson 16

Lesson 16:

"I have no neutral thoughts…”

No, no, no, no, no… “I” do not. There is no private “I”, first off, like no private thoughts… God has but one Son and the thought of the possibility of the impossible {separation from Source} took the detour in to hell. The “I” referred here is the listening/applying/thinking “I”. “It” has no neutral thoughts because without joining it doesn’t exist… So, ”I” join with some fathering thought or adviser. Like it says in chapter 30 of the text, in the section called Rules for decision, “…you cannot make decisions by yourself. The only question really is with what you choose to make them. That is really all. The first rule, then, is not coercion, but a simple statement of a simple fact. You will not make decisions by yourself whatever you decide. For they are made with idols or with God. And you ask help of anti-Christ or Christ, and which you choose will join with you and tell you what to do…a fact as well. For you and your adviser must agree on what you want before it can occur. It is but this agreement that permits all things to happen.”

Now, given the primary principle the Course teaches that “ideas leave not their source”, the crucial fact; “ideas leave not their source,” which describes the reason for our (God’s One Son) being, how can we pretend that any thoughts could be without effect in the world from and for which they are intended. Recap: God extended His thought, fathering us. Without this ‘fathering’, we cannot be. He is the Source and we- the Son, are the effect and our sonship established Him as Father. With His extension of Himself creating all of what we are, along with that, came the fathership component. The Course speaks of our creations and mis-creation: of The tiny mad idea that seemed to enter the mind of the Son; fathered the entire cosmos of time and space: beginning and end/ birth and death, and all form and difference and every ‘what-if’ to ever come in time. Like it says in the beginning of the text: “The inappropriate use of extension, or projection, occurs when you believe that some emptiness or lack exists in you, and that you can fill it with your own ideas instead of truth. This process involves the following steps:

1)First, you believe that what God created can be changed by your own mind.

2)Second, you believe that what is perfect can be rendered imperfect or lacking.

3)Third, you believe that you can distort the creations of God, including yourself.

4)Fourth, you believe that you can create yourself, and that the direction of your own creation is up to you.

These related distortions represent a picture of what actually occurred in the separation, or the “detour into fear”… All fear is basically reducible to the basic misperception that you have the ability to usurp the power of God...”) So pretty much, this world is the mis-creative thought that God’s creation could ‘usurp the power of God…. Ya know, it just sounds completely ludicrous right now…. Ah, the cosmic belly-laugh…

I love this part, below, from today’s lesson…

“There is no more self-contradictory concept than that of "idle thoughts." What gives rise to the perception of a whole world can hardly be called idle. Every thought you have contributes to truth or to illusion; either it extends the truth or it multiplies illusions. You can indeed multiply nothing, but you will not extend it by doing so.”

Mind watching twenty-four seven, I mean really paying attention to my thoughts… that has been the challenge. The denial and distraction techniques so fundamentally interwoven into my (this worlds) basic make up,~ oh, their good –very good… I see so clearly now the design~ ”don’t look, keep busy, complain, blame, explain ~ compromise…”

One of the things I love most about the Course (Oh, who am I kidding? … I love every precious symbol of the Course, with all my heart and gratitude!) Anyway, something that has left me a sense of trust and security is that the Course is completely uncompromising, (as I have found that ultimately practicing the principle of Atonement is uncompromising). The Course says that compromise is the belief that salvation is impossible. Yeah, duh… that has always been the reason I sought compromise… no faith in Love, no faith in my brother or my self. In one place, the Course says that a miracle is an ‘act of faith – it is a recognition that your brother can do it – by calling to the one mind in him.’ …um, it feels good to trust…

And again, this is what makes the Course is so simple and possible, just because it makes NO compromise and all my difficulty is proportionate to my belief that compromise is possible.

“…Besides your recognizing that thoughts are never idle, salvation requires that you also recognize that every thought you have brings either peace or war, either love or fear…”

The Course says ‘you will except the course completely… or not at all’… this was been a difficult pill to swallow for me (when in my wrong mind) yet, impossible to deny. ~ Love or fear, God or nothing…What God did not create can only be in my mind that thinks it thinks apart from His. Therefore it really has no meaning. It isn’t real _ but that doesn’t mean that it has no effects ~ this entire dream is the effect: a dream ‘made’ by just such an idle (idol) thought…

Joyously, I came to realize that the reason nothing in this world holds any appeal for me is because, in itself, it is meaninglessly representing a world made by idle thought, as a prison for oneness~ and then gave the key to the gatekeeper named denial.

‘Image making is not seeing’, as the Course says~ meaningless is nothing~ but because of this, I feel impelled to write upon it what I would have it be. Yet… why not let the Holy Spirit/ the Truth be written for me. …Beneath my words is written the word of God; “I am as God created me.” Words cannot describe the Truth of what I am. Yet, joyously I see that truth through accepting the Atonement for myself. This is my only purpose, I am realizing my function of forgiveness here, which words can speak of and teach ~ I wish only to exemplify His word in me…for you and I are one… “Teach only love for that is what we are”…foreverandever....

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

~the light of understanding lesson 15~

Lesson 15:

“My thoughts are images that I have made”…

It seemed for the longest time that this just kept turning out to be just so true on so many levels, yes? Every time I’d think I know what something is or means or that I‘ve got life all wired up right…. Then the light changes, my mood or circumstances seem to change…. and bingo~ disillusionment. It has actually been a release and frankly a relief to see that all my thoughts, beliefs, ideas about ‘life’ are just images I have made (and fickle images at that, it has turned out). It breaks ‘me’ open to the light of understanding (which turns out to be nothing I thought it was either) and so much of this apparent daily life seems surreal to me. Love is what seems to flesh out or bring life to the shadowy figures of my mind. I notice that everything about me seems not all that solid, kind of giving the feeling of “beam me up Scottie…”~ I notice the light beyond, within, and as…I am with this… and you are there with me…

“My thoughts are images that I have made”…

Yes. Tis true. Nothing is as the images would once have represented anymore. Everything I thought I thought I saw, and ‘knew’, but merely represented a level of so-called thinking, seemingly apart from God, and pictured out to give its flimsy stance some illusory validity. But I ask, “Can this be?” ~anything apart from all that is? Honestly, now… I think not. Period. Only the thoughts of God could be real. Period. The light has answered, of course, and the illusory nature of my thinking dissolved into a forgiven perspective where the lines around the images (nor really the images at all) are no longer drawn in the sand… (Sand, sands of time, eh?) The thing about choosing forgiveness which allows for vision, is that the very same identity constructs that seemed so solid before; the you, the me, the ‘individual-nesses’ of the world, seem to have been bathed (or maybe baptized is a better word) in the pure light of love, which shines truth from within and nearly dis-appears the ‘once-solid’ image/idea. This simple question, (Can this be?) asked from innocence and emptiness, has turned out to be a bridge from my past to Now, for me. And Now is the presence of God … allowing for the light of understanding. This light is simply more real than any image or thought I ever believed before. It’s irrefutable ~certain... And seeing that my thoughts are images that I have made allowed for me to look deeper, feel deeper, trust deeper… to the stillness of Love; the thoughts I think with God….the certainty that I am… ~Love and gratitude overflowing~

Monday, January 14, 2008

~ramblings triggered by lesson 14~

Lesson 14

“God did not create a meaningless world…”

Duh! How could all meaning, create meaninglessness? So, what is not of God must be a dream. This little tidbit (critical though it was/is) was not easy for me to allow revealing itself to me, let alone accepting. Yet the unmistakable significance beneath all seeming reality manifest as this world of form, is that “God is” … (ah, the still peace of that simple, all powerful recognition)… yummy, yes…. And within this Is-ness that is God, is all that is, yes? And God is love, yes…. Just breath, feel it. Yep, it’s unmistakable… formless, limitless, ever-present/eternally-now… OK, so, whatever isn’t this experience~ really simply isn’t… isn’t ‘real’ but merely an image within the dream of impossibility; the dream of separation from Source. Right now it seems so apparent ~ the grand illusion~ and the all of it is what is referred to here as meaningless. Of course it’s meaningless, all meaning lies in reality. God did not create that which God is not, so the world where the experience God is not, is meaningless. God did not create it. The world I seem to see was created to divert attention from the truth of what I am as God created me…(I am God’s Son; complete and healed and whole…). God did not create Danét… so it is not real… whatever it is I think I think, or perceive in this world, all my design, all equally ‘not real’… self concept …not real…all equally meaningless. The Atonement was God’s answer to the tiny mad idea that spawned the dream of the separated and alone… placing indelibly within the Son’s mind, the Holy Spirit’s perfect re-membering of the truth and understanding of God’s plan for salvation; ‘the beckoning wake-up call of love’. I have heard the call and I have answered. And now I have but one choice within this so-called life of Danét. Which guide/voice will I listen to: Love or fear? ~it is the choice for purpose; the choice to host God or play hostage to ego dictates… for meaning or meaninglessness…

“I am responsible for what I see.

I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide

Upon the goal I would achieve.

And everything that seems to happen to me

I ask for, and receive as I have asked.”

This is my responsibility and I accept it gladly for in it I have found all freedom and the peace of God. Somewhere, fundamentally deep within, and as me, I am listening, knowing, being… always ~already~, awake…recognizing the Truth.

I love how the Course is always looping back on the main idea of cause and effect. God being cause ~ we the effect ~ that ideas never leave their source. ‘God created His Sons by extending His Thought, and retaining the extensions of his Thought in His Mind. All His thoughts are thus perfectly united within themselves and with each other.’ (T-6.II.8: 1-2) Thank you for our rejoining in the still peace of God and His holy Son. I love you forever and ever~

Sunday, January 13, 2008

~From meaninglessness to miracles~thoughts with lesson 13~

Lesson 13:

“A meaningless world engenders fear….” What does this mean? Okay, meaningless… Wholly @#*! The idea of meaninglessness rises to mind the question of my little existence, what value it has, hell even its validity or reality at all. Of course that’s a threat to the idea of self dreamed up separate from the truth of being where one can reside soundly in reality. Hell yeah, it’s a threat to recognize that all that gave me reason to fight and struggle, make better and win~ was meaningless. To give up every idea I ever had of what life was; every belief and value ever held. Surely I too, would be meaningless, yes?

The first time I did the lessons, I remember I thought something to the effect of “Yeah, well maybe if I had a negative spin on things like so many people do, but I don’t, thank god, I see mostly the good…” (Competition with God ~ self authorship) I look at that now and I recognized the ego ‘sidestepping denial technique’, a rose-colored glasses perspective designed to avoid even the idea of fear. The idea of total meaninglessness was horrifically terrifying to me. Yet I was completely oblivious to this. So far from any awareness I had to keep it from myself~ too small and fragile was my ‘self’ esteem, too tenuous was my significance in this world ~in my so-called life, which I couldn’t afford to relax a bit. “Had to strive… become a better person… show God I was serious, and appreciative, and a good student’. I didn’t see the set up then… the fear of meaninglessness, let alone the meaningless world, and certainly not the competition with God ~which when I did glimpse it rendered me crippled with guilt. I was a good path for me.
Turns out; none of it meant anything. But, my willingness to trust the Holy Spirit by way of this Course, my gradual willingness to be wrong; to question every thing I ever thought or believed, and my willing to be shown another way and then to practice it, regardless of my personal reactions to it… ~this has been enough…
At some point I became profoundly aware that every upset, from the slightest confusion, irritation, bored resistance, to “knowing” what I “prefer” were confusion about authorship. And, always, with my willingness to look straight on at the seeming situation, I realized no real facts comprised it… only the desperate demands of a spoiled, frightened ego-child afraid to see the truth for fear of losing the ‘seeming security’ of being right about the images and they’re seeming meaning that frailly strung them together to give the illusion of a solid world. Always, this loss of peace stemmed from the belief that I was in competition with God. My “little willingness” to be wrong…showed the instability of a foundation based in “belief” rather than truth which is always solid, immovable and unchanging ~waiting for my recognition of it ~ my Self ~ Love, as God created me. Thank God.

More and more I see evidence in the world of the only thing that could be true, I am as God Created me, and you and I are one. The Peace of God is in our very make up. Being fathered by God, how could it possibly be made of some thing else… No~only God. Only the desire to author myself and reality … to “specialize” myself, could make it seem so. It feels so good, no; right, to finally forgive this arrogant competition with God.... It’s nearly comical to look at it now … like watching little children acting like they ‘know everything’, like; “you’re not the boss of me…!”
Ummm~talk about a shift in perception ~thank you, God; “my so-called life is nothing short of a miracle the holy shift from meaningless-mindedness to miracle-mindedness. What a miracle.
The section in the workbook called “What Is a Miracle?” keeps surfacing in my mind, so apropos… Take a gander if it suits you:

All of life needs a source to exist and it is impossible that perfect love ~LIFE ~ could mutate into fearful, inevitable death. What a relief to see this folly, ~ Talk about peace…aahh, peace, this is my natural state. Here, I am at home. And you are there with me because there is no such animal as aloneness ~ in oneness. It’s so simply obvious … LOVE IS ALL THERE IS ~and if for a second I don’t see it, I just close my eyes and zero in on the still point of light at the center of my mind, from which I draw out the world, I feel the deep peace and abiding joy of my Self, ~and Love itself expands, beaconing me to extend… Love whispers, “draw this world” ~ and as I open my eyes, I see… Such is the yummy nature of “choosing once again. “