Saturday, July 14, 2007

Lesson 196:

It can be but myself I crucify…

Eventually we all come to this. Every unloving act of defense against any one, but weakens the whole. It feels awful. It only worked on for the ignorant. And we are no longer wholly insane. Winning over in a situation or ‘being on top’ in the dream of the world are but shallow and empty. For we have experienced the seat of joy, which resides within the wholeness that we are as one. No part will due. In this, we always see ourselves in every interaction. And although the ego throws out every manner of temptation to value for ‘me and mine’, and to protect and defend, we can not longer be sufficiently seduced; seeing through the flimsy dressing of the egos game of enemies and competition seemingly before or around us, or potentially coming, and we zero in on the light within each nuance allowing forgiveness and gratitude to do their work.

It is always a decision based on what I want to believe; the truth or illusion. For in truth there is no separation between you and me. We are but the out-picturing of 0ne-mind. If I choose the thought of crucifixion and any form, that is ultimately the only experience I get out of it. All manner of defense and justification and explanation must be employed to substantiate a thought system so unnatural, that only distraction and slight of hand can work, and only on those who really want to believe. Yet, when I choose the thought of resurrection; of life and love, I am instantly tuned to the truth of what I am. Truth needs no defense. It is.

Let us today look about us, and ‘pull the covers’ on every situation we once perceive as ‘unfair’, looking straight through it to the light within and see it is but our belief looping back unto our self. Let us allow the devotion that brought us this far, bring us even further today, showing us how forgiveness resurrects our brother and our self in all situations, once designated (by our belief in them) to crucify, bring but the gift of joy and oneness….

Friday, July 13, 2007

Lesson 195:

Love is the way I walk in gratitude…

Love is ever-present in mind, for all of us. It is what we think is missing when we feel alone, what we think will save us when we fall, complete us when deficient; give us safety in a storm and security when afraid. It is consistently what we reference when we feel gratitude, and without which, we couldn’t express… And we would be right.

Here’s the thing; our idea of love left its memory of where it resides and creates and has its being in the wholeness, during this dream of individual-ness. That is the dynamic of the separation; to place outside and interact as subject with object. Therefore the construct of time and space and form and function and learning and memory and birth and death were enacted, all real-izing the dynamic we call the world; its limitations and rules, its bodies and its things, and opposites…

So here’s the really fun part… Of course one could only make something from the materials (so to speak) one has. We are but Love; complete and whole and free. Love would therefore still be, the one thing that inescapable ingredient woven into the core of ever illusion we might fancy. For Love is our being… beyond, within, extending and returning~ love is….

Eventually, on the spiritual journey, no matter which path one takes, (the decision for spirit-mind) it always unfolds to the same awareness: ~YOU ARE THE LOVE YOU HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR~ The fullness of gratitude becomes the seat of our adventures from this point on. We recognize that we but see what are looking with. We put on the spectacles of gratitude as we begin our day with the Holy Spirits direction; go forth and we feel out of sorts, (its like laying our seeing glasses down) we can merely return to gratitude of a quick restorative to se our brother as our self…

Please join me in this portion of the lesson’s message:

We thank our Father for one thing alone; that we are separate from no living thing, and therefore one with Him. And we rejoice that no exceptions ever can be made which would reduce our wholeness, nor impair or change our function to complete the One Who is Himself completion. We give thanks for every living thing, for otherwise we offer thanks for nothing, and we fail to recognize the gifts of God to us.

Then let our brothers lean their tired heads against our shoulders as they rest a while. We offer thanks for them. For if we can direct them to the peace that we would find, the way is opening at last to us. An ancient door is swinging free again; a long forgotten Word re-echoes in our memory, and gathers clarity as we are willing once again to hear.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Lesson 194:

I place the future in the Hands of God…

When I came to this lesson with an mind and heart, where I no longer cared to ‘understand’ what it meant with my strategic mind, I noticed in the core of my being the response to this was: “Whew, take it off my hands, p l e a s e. . . I am no longer interested.”

Now this brings me to discuss this topic from a miracle-received place. And if I were to describe, in worldly terms, a statement that encapsulates the freedom and ease that has come to me as a result of placing my future in the Hands of God’, it would be that, ‘ I don’t really care’. I don’t. It’s as simple as that. The truth is, I haven’t really cared for a long time. Scratch that~ ever! I don’t care what the future brings. I’m never going to see it.

I am interested in my happiness, right here, right now.

Truthfully, it’s the only thing I’m capable of…this present moment, always.

Every manner of twisted, so-called self-sacrificing, self-depreciating, other-focused, self-focused, acting out of beliefs, no matter how convoluted they may seem to a semi-sane mind; when it gets down to it, some place, somehow, I signed-on to a belief that x-amount of x was necessary for happiness. I acted out of the belief in scarcity and that the rights to happiness were earned through hard work, sacrifice, guilt and worry. Or, I stole moments of fabricated relief and called them, happy- times, knowing the fraudulency of my actions; justifying and attempting to rationalize legitimately, dodging the bullet at every turn… and so on. All to be happy, now.

You know, bottom-line, all the twisting and turning, I fondly refer to as my so-called life, find its roots in one belief: that I am a separate being, existing in a world of time and space. Now, with this kind of lonely start, add a list of all possible defenses and offense maneuvers for survival as necessary components. And it all plays out as a grand competition with God for control. ~ arrh, the compulsion to feel in control~ As if…

Well, anyway, it sounds ridiculous when I try to talk about it now…

I place the future in the Hands of God…

I, through the Holy Spirit within my mind, and the course’s suggestion, am developing the habit of engaging with God in acceptance of my identity in Him as a way of dealing with the time-construct. I choose being present, now, in the place of the self-identity, past-future construct. And when I loose my way and real-ize a particular ‘care’, it is easily seen differently when given over to the lens of forgiveness… I love the way it works, I am never without the deep abiding joy that comes with placing the future in God’s Hands… I can so relate to this lesson and feel the workings of transformation taking place within;

E.g. from today’s lesson:

“Accept today’s idea, and you have passed all anxiety, all pits of hell, all blackness of depression, thoughts of sin, and devastation brought about by guilt. Accept today’s idea, and you have released the world from all imprisonment by loosening the heavy chains that locked the door to freedom on it. You are saved, and your salvation thus becomes the gift you give the world, because you have received.

In no one instant is depression felt, or pain experienced or loss perceived. In no one instant sorrow can be set upon a throne, and worshipped faithfully. In no one instant can one even die. And so each instant given unto God in passing, with the next one given Him already, is a time of your release from sadness, pain and even death itself.”

I am no longer deceiving myself that the nothingness of unreality holds anything I want. The rest it just breaking the bad habits that were once coping mechanisms, through forgiving the false and accepting that only the truth is true.

Thank you for joining me as we still a our minds an instant, letting this moment tell as what I time is. We find the inevitability of God, eternally, always, already, now…

And as we begin our day,we go with this surety:

“For in God’s Hands we rest untroubled, sure that only good can come to us. If we forget, we will be gently reassured. If we accept an unforgiving thought, it will be soon replaced by love’s reflection. And if we are tempted to attack, we will appeal to Him Who guards our rest to make the choice for us that leaves temptation far behind. No longer is the world our enemy, for we have chosen that we be its friend”...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Lesson 193:

All things are lessons God would have me learn…

You know, this idea that life is a series of lesson was not unfamiliar to me when I first began my Course study. No, pretty much every situation of up bringing and growing and learning and succeeding was laced with the idea that, if nothing else, one was supposed to learn something from said given situation. Oh, how many times I used this idea; both to ‘improve’ myself and to make excuse for my perceived ‘failure’ (well at least I learned something). I used it as a coping mechanism, pulling it out when needing. This idea has taken many forms for me and actually was a sort of bridge of hope when I had none (“perhaps there is a reason for all this”)… I did not speak the language of the A Course in Miracles when I began my study, but somehow, deep within, it spoke mine. And by way of the miracle all my ideas of what things are or what they mean, have systematically been brought to the Holy Spirit for review and reinterpretation. And the major reinterpretation has been that if it is not as God is: changeless, formless, eternal happiness, joy and love, then it is not real.

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exist.

Herein lies the peace of God… (T-introduction)

One can’t really take this in from the ego-belief-structure. From there, we believe what we see not realizing that we only see what we believe. That is the mechanism of perception. It show us what our minds believe is real. Perception is not of God, Who knows all. However, perception is the temporary means the Holy Spirit utilizes to return our minds to there natural state of eternal oneness and love. Forgiveness is the tool for employing the proper use of perception in this so-called world.

Forgive, and you will see this differently…

When I first really allowed the meaning of this one idea to permeate my being, I remember I sat huddled in my meditation room, rocking and weeping tears of joy and relief…

Prior to then, I was still holding on to regrets and wishes that things would have gone differently; I would have been better, kinder, not-intoxicated, more honest, etc… Then in the twinkling of an eye, so to speak, I got it. Pain is not real, because it is not of God. Period. So there is no point attempting to deceive myself that pain and regret and guilt and worry were a necessary part of my ‘growing-learning-process’. If there is pain in any form present, it is not real. You can’t fix the unfixable. Forgiveness returns to mind to the truth… Only what God created is real.

And I am what God created in any given situation.

Here is my starting point: “I am as God created me and you and I are one in Him…” This makes for a sort of vacuum type of pull dispelling the falseness of the ‘stressful, painful, fearful, etc. situation and allowing for the Holy Spirit within my mind to heal and correct and then use for His plan for salvation of the world… forgive, and see this differently…

Now here’s the thing, none of the perception correction part is my business. My business is to notice how I feel, and as the lesson suggests, if pain seems real in the perception, the lesson of forgiveness has not been learned. I merely apply these words, held in full awareness, with devoted willingness: “Forgive, and see this differently”…”Forgive, and this will disappear”…

What I found is that the temptation to replay the past with pain and regret must be vigilantly addressed with the forgiveness tool. As tempting as it is to organize them into hierarchies deserving of time’s meted out punishment and pay the price of shame with the coin of delay in healing now, that’s still all it is, a game of the ego of distraction and delay… God’s Will for perfect happiness is inevitable…

If there is pain present in perception of a situation, I could not be the truth. Let us today, as the lesson beckons let mercy come to us more quickly and use time for what it was meant for: Morning and night, devote what time you can to serve its (time’s) proper aim, and do not let the time be less than meets our deepest need… give all we can, and give al little more. For now we would arise in haste and go unto our Father’s house… and as we practice, let s think about all the things we saved to settle by ourselves, and kept apart from healing. Let us give them all to Him Who knows the way to look upon them so that they will disappear. Truth is His message…His are the lessons God would have us learn… practicing in the form established for the day. And try to give it application to the happenings the hour brought, so that the next one is free of the one before… let not one hour cast a shadow on the one that follows, and when that one goes, let everything that happened in its course go with it. Thus will we remain unbound, in peace eternal in the world of time.

We but bring everything to Him, with this faith upon our hearts:

I will forgive, and this will disappear…

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Lesson 192:

I have a function God would have me fill…

Forgiveness is my function in this so-called life. And forgiveness is simply the reevaluation of values and beliefs; seeing that the false is false, and cannot possible represent the Son that God created one with Him to complete Himself. Forgiveness focuses on seeing only the light of truth within each seeming situation, person and circumstance; the thread of love which unites us with each other and God, which is creation.

We can no longer be afraid of our own minds. It is only what we have been unwilling to look upon that perpetuates the feeling of fear; due to the accepted belief that some ‘horror’ resides there. And everything about the ego’s mode of operation is designed to keep this belief in tack so we won’t turn the mind around and look within.

The ‘horror’ it turns out, is a boogieman. And if you have come this far in the Course curriculum, you have at least glimpsed that this is true. Yes?

In my case, in a holy instant of recognition and release, where all sense of the world of form and time and space were up-righted in perspective and only the formless, purity of eternal love showed me where the truth lie within. It is the ‘unbearable lightness of being’; unbearable only in that it must be seen with and everywhere and in all things, uniting forever in eternal light… I accepted the Atonement for myself. I practice this acceptance by recognizing you as my Self; forgiving all false ideas. Forgiveness is a sort of homing-device, always returning me to my function, when I seemed to have forgotten and lost my way. And how do I know I have lost my way? I don’t like the way I feel. Now, this is not always so easy to decipher. The ego’s making of the world set up idols which mimic genuine experience of happiness and oneness, yet its design is always fraught with the fear of loss; someone must loose for someone to gain; the craving for specialness serves to replace the hunger to return to oneness. For me, it looks like I begin to address the world as if its forms and bodies and beliefs and values are real and that I care about any particular outcome in terms of the success-failure barometer of the world. I know better. I am at peace only in the truth beyond the world of form, and in resting here, I easily forgive everything I think I see or experience, through the Holy Spirit within my mind.

This is the function God would have me fill; I merely forgive the world of all I thought it was and allow Christ Vision to see that what was false not only need not be feared, but that there is nothing to fear; no reason to defend, or as the lesson says, take anyone prisoner.

For years I could see that I was holding people hostage in my mind due to what I saw as a need to protect what little I had amassed for my self, my seeming inability to trust, and that imprisoning them, limited my freedom as well. I was handicapped by my unwillingness to be honest… I could see I was both jailer and prisoner, terrified to look within. But inevitably, the pain of the problem became greater than the perceived pain of the solution, and I surrendered. Instead of finding death, I received the recognition of the light within… It was a miracle… Simply, I replay this forgiveness lesson again and again as my function here requests. Please join me… From the lesson:

Therefore, hold no one prisoner. Release instead of bind, for thus are you made free. The way is simple. Every time you feel a stab of anger, realize you hold a sword above your head. And it will fall or be averted as you choose to be condemned or free. Thus does each one who seems to tempt you to be angry represent your savior from the prison house of death. And so you owe him thanks instead of pain.

Be merciful today. The Son of God deserves your mercy. It is he who asks that you accept the way to freedom now. Deny him not. His Father’s Love for him belongs to you. Your function here on earth is only to forgive him, that you may accept him back as your Identity. He is as God created him. And you are what he is. Forgive him now his sins, and you will see that you are one with him…

Monday, July 9, 2007

Lesson 191:
I am the holy Son of God Himself...
This one statement is indeed the zero-point, from which I am able to let go the world with all its shifting tides of time and space and form and function, and free-fall into the all encompassing, pure bliss-filled state of my true identity~ and yours as well. Here, I know my Self. It is so simple really. It seems impossible that I could ever not have seen the brilliant truth lighting creation; the only 'real' within the dream of this world. It's simple~ I am the holy Son of God Himself. Period. And we are all One in Him...
Join me in reviewing a portion of the Lesson text;
Deny your own Identity, and you will not escape the madness which induced this weird, unnatural and ghostly thought that mocks creation and that laughs at God. Deny your own Identity, and you assail the universe alone, without a friend, a tiny particle of dust against the legions of your enemies. Deny your own Identity, and look on evil, sin and death, and watch despair snatch from your fingers every scrap of hope, leaving you nothing but the wish to die.

Be glad today how very easily is hell undone. You need but tell yourself:

I am the holy Son of God Himself. I cannot suffer, cannot be in pain; I cannot suffer loss, nor fail to do all that salvation asks.

And in that thought is everything you look on wholly changed.

Then let the Son of God awaken from his sleep, and opening his holy eyes, return again to bless the world he made. In error it began, but it will end in the reflection of his holiness. And he will sleep no more and dream of death. Then join with me today. Your glory is the light that saves the world. Do not withhold salvation longer. Look about the world, and see the suffering there. Is not your heart willing to bring your weary brothers rest?

They must await your own release. They stay in chains till you are free. They cannot see the mercy of the world until you find it in yourself. They suffer pain until you have denied its hold on you. They die till you accept your own eternal life. You are the holy Son of God Himself. Remember this, and all the world is free. Remember this, and earth and Heaven are one.

Right now, can't you just feel yourself into your true identity, shedding the old like a second skin? And we're in this together, sinking inward, resting at the still point of perfect peace...

This is the truth: We are the holy Son of God Himself...aahhh...

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Lesson 190:
I choose the joy of God instead of pain...
Yes, joy is the state in which we feel most like our Self, yes? Really, if you take a gander at the rewind tape of your so-called life, you could agree that althought pain, and sometimes intense or long drawn out extended pain, makes one feel 'out-of-sorts', not oneself, feeling you can't really operate normally in your life, until that pain is gone and joy has returned... We were designed for joy, by joy, and we will seek that alignment with our Self, regardless. What if, as the lesson suggests, it is merely a choice.
We are always, ultimately making one choice; to recocognize reality or see illusions, experience joy or pain, Heaven or hell, truth or the false. And which choice we make then becomes the father of our perceptions at any given time... it becomes our teacher and reinforcer of what we want to believe.
Here's the thing: life is thought. It is formulated idea extended. Add a little belief to a fantasy which fosters the opposite to truth and all manner of its evidence will seem to reinforce it (sending the sentinals of darkness, as it says in the text). The Course continually reminds us that ideas leave not their source. We are the idea of God's joy extended as creation. We are as God created us; we are awake to this one truth or we sleep. The form illusions dreaming is irrelevent, actually. Even in our so-called physical dreaming-life, when we are afraid, in pain, out of touch with joy and love, we employ our faculties to get us out of the situation. The problem lies with the belief that we are really in that dream reality.
I remember when it hit me like a ton of bricks~ this idea that joy was my only natural state... I had been meditating and contemplating my day and God's Will for me, and that sense that 'all is well and I would be guided' seemed to elude me. I began to contemplate what the circumstances of my mind were when I felt sure that I could hear the Voice for God, and when, like that morning, it seemed out of my reach. As the observer of my mind, I could see that I was feeling frustrated and I was seeking answers to my problems, (sort of like Holy Spirit was my errand-boy instead of my teacher, interpreter and guide). At that moment of realization of the error in my thinking, my mood went from one of frustration-pain, to one of joy and excitement... Instantly, I felt tuned in, available to recieve a transmission consistant with the really solution I sought, which was the return to joy-love. I realized I could not serve two masters. It was all or nothing.
There is no compromise in this. I choose the joy of God or I choose pain... and everything I experience will reflect the choice I make. The groovy part is, that the way I feel is always a berometer to forgive the false, and choose once again.
Now, I allow my natural state of joy to take me into my meditative state instead of hoping to extract joy from meditation. I am as God created me and I am joyously waiting in quiet expectation to know my Father's Will... and only this, for this is the only thing that truly brings joy to His creations... This is my purpose here; to be joy instead of pain in every seeming circumstance, being the balm that restores our natural state of joy, that we may begin to see clearly...
Let us together, today, choose the joy of God instead of pain...