Thursday, January 10, 2008

~contemplating lesson 10...

Lesson 10:

My thoughts do not mean anything…

How true this is in this world, from within this, my, thought system. ~Talk about disillusioning~ All the “all important” thinking about what to be, to do, to say, what I should have said, what ‘they’re’ thinking, what ‘they’re’ feeling, what happened, what should have happened, what’s going to happen if, if not…blah, blah, blah… All said and done, what happened to it? Where did it go? Only to be replaced by the next ‘important’ thought ~ the one similarity being that each has the purpose of defining the world for me (and often others in my mind) and of defining my self. It is merely a distraction from my real purpose ~ a delay in time, which too, means nothing.

“I do not know the thing I am, and therefore do not know what I am doing, where I am, or how to look upon the world or on myself.” (T-31.V.17.7)

…This idea will help release me from all that I now believe…

At times I have felt so defeated and stupid, and at a loss to ever “get it” The Light of recognition I experienced immediately in the Course that brought me home for an instant has been the beacon at these times. Yet the development of pervasive, persistent habit of engaging with God through choosing to listen to the Holy Spirit, watch my mind and question every value and belief, has been the mainstay. As the course says:

“To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold. Not one can be kept hidden and obscure but it will jeopardize your learning. No belief is neutral. Every on has the power to dictate each decision you make. For a decision is a conclusion based on everything that that you believe.” (T-24.2: 1-5)

And my willingness has been enough (and really, all I have to offer, it turns out).

I have become willing to see ~ and allow my real thoughts, of which I can’t define, but do observe through relationships ~in peace and joy and oneness.

The need to think I think, to define, to plan, etc. has eased up. And it has become more automatic to come to life with an ‘open mind’ and empty hands.

Alas~ so much lovelier ~

(…and of course these thoughts don’t mean any thing …but, ah, I do love this feeling, sharing them with you)

You are my thought of love, forever and ever ~

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