Lesson 197:

The gift is always in the giving of the gift. The desire in my heart to share, to extend; this is where the gratitude begins and returns. And it is as natural as breathing when the gift we extend is one of truth. There really is no ‘give to get’, yet all the ‘special’ relationships of the world are based in this idea. It’s a bargaining, based on mistrust. All the external appreciation is never enough, ever. We can’t really let it in anyway. We have not made a place for it with our own gratitude where it can be received as it is given. Gratitude is the feeling that comes with feeling the Self. Even when we aren’t aware of it, something matches up and we feel seen (envisioned). It is and has always been the way, and now we can recognize it. We can receive only what we have made the space for within, by giving what we want to have. Nothing else is going on. All externals are a reflection of our state of mind, there for the purpose of re-turning the mind to truth.

As we choose truth as our only goal, as we choose forgiveness as the means to accomplish it and happiness as the way to experience it, gratitude comes of itself. Gratitude floods in and washes over us and heals our fragmented ideas of relationship. All relationship is a mirror of the one I have with my Creator and my Self.

As I begin to see the fraudulency of the entire ‘false world’ as a state of being; the belief in separation; separated persons in a scarce and competitive world, in subject and object and birth and death, and simply turn my mind back around to where it always wants to be, the joy of that decision alone, is overwhelming in the gratitude I feel. And when looking out upon the seeming world at large, again, from this high place, how I can feel anything but gratitude for all the reflections I see everywhere and in everyone? You are my only chance.

I wouldn’t miss it for the world (pun intended). Thank you, thank you, thank you…

I’m thinking of this poem by David Whyte, which feels right to wrap up with:

REVELATION MUST BE TERRIBLE

Revelation must be

terrible with no time left

to say goodbye.

Imagine that moment

staring at the still waters

with only the brief tremor

of your body to say

you are leaving everything

and everyone you know behind.

Being far from home is hard, but you know,

at least we are exiled together.

When you open your eyes to the world

you are on your own for

the first time. No one is

even interested in saving you now

and the world steps in

to test the calm fluidity of your body

from moment to moment

as if it believed you could join

its vibrant dance

of fire and calmness and final stillness.

As if you were meant to be exactly

where you are, as if

like the dark branch of a desert river

you could flow on without a speck

of guilt and everything

everywhere would still be just as it should be.

As if your place in the world mattered

and the world could

neither speak nor hear the fullness of

its own bitter and beautiful cry

without the deep well

of your body resonating in the echo.

Knowing that it takes only

that one, terrible

word to make the circle complete,

revelation must be terrible

knowing you can

never hide your voice again.

—David Whyte from Fire in the Earth

Thank you, thank you, thank you…