“My holiness envelops everything I see… blesses the world… There is nothing that holiness cannot do … holiness is salvation … blessed as the Son of God…”
What I am seeing is always what I’m looking with…
Some where along the way, I really began to realize that every where I looked, everything I saw; every tiny little thing that seemed to go on in my so-called life, was coming from me… even if I was reporting the situation as totally blind-siding me, -catching me completely off guard-, as I learned to be honest … I saw I put it there…
This kind of honesty is not for the faint-hearted, by the way. It requires “abundant willingness”, and one has to look dead-on, square-in-the-eye, then pick up and fondle some pretty ugly forms, beliefs, identities, ways of being, in order to see that they are all the same; merely a shadow of guilt.
~A shadow of guilt~ yes, ~yet, so unacceptable that projecting it as far away as possible and forgetting where it came from was apparently, the only viable solution at the time…
The return to honestly, through a just a little willingness to “have been wrong about-everything” feels good~ as excruciating as it is ~ it is good in a very ‘real’ sort of way; ~a way that says, “perhaps there is another way , after all…”
And, then it begins~… the obvious, bearable things first come to the surface…then with consistent willingness with deeper honestly raising and fondling of all the used, abused ideas; the demons once valued in fear such that one felt compelled not only to run from, but if necessary, bury alive rather than own, are raised up… [Incidentally ~dissolving at the very uncovering of then ~ {big, f@#!ing demons, eh?}]
Yet with this willingness, one begins to notice the inevitable awakening of the internal light. Right along side these fears and judgments, a light so unmistakable and compelling that one begins to feel its eternal presence had been present, all along. With also an awareness so profound that the very light illuminating all is but holiness itself, the holiness that is one’s Self…
The thing is, that for me, the recognition of my holiness, began to come through, when I first in placed some faith in the idea of the Holy Spirit… [Since I knew I had no faith in myself, at the time and could not be trusted]
The next step naturally followed… Through trusting that the Holy Spirit was with me and within me, gradually I began to recognize that ‘this was my holiness’ that the Course was talking about! It was like, duh, how could anything be separated out from anything?… So I came to see I was, by trusting the Holy Spirit within my mind, therefore, trusting my holiness, and truly valuing honesty… This leans into increased willingness, and trusting deeper, then into abundant willingness and a knowing that it is only my holiness I can trust and it NEVER fails me… There is nothing my holiness cannot do…
…Another world has developed before my very eyes… From my holiness does the perception of the real world come. My holiness blesses the world…
Having forgiven, guilt is replaced with faith. Faithlessness is healed along with guilt, being saved for me by holiness itself… In accepting my holiness, fear is replaced by love. The peace of God, my one goal, has become my constant companion… Certainty now sits where wishful thinking used to reside…There is no other way for me… how could it be any other way… I have seen/experienced the truth ~it is I~ and I am not afraid…I am blessed as a Son of God…Along with all my brothers, who are one with me… You are the light of Christ that makes it possible for me to see… I am eternally grateful!
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