~Lesson 65 musings~

Lesson 65:

My only function is the one God gave me…

Let no thought reflect a goal that prevents me from accepting my only function…On this clean slate let my true function be written for me… My only function is the one God gave me~ I want no other and have no other…
Accepting only this function is my only goal. And any thought that is not this, is an attempt to author myself… it is ultimately part of the authority problem inherent in the idea of separation; the ‘DNA’ or so-called genetic material of ‘nothing’, posing as life , as a physical universe called existence. This is the thought from which I need salvation… Only through my total commitment to fulfilling my function can I return to ‘First Cause’. This lesson asks we look honestly at where this commitment lies… at how willing one is to be free of competition with God…
I remember the difficulty I had, for years, remembering designated practice times throughout the day which the lessons suggested. And, furthermore, I found that attempting to control that remembering through some external means, like for instance, using an alarm, was ultimately an exercise in maintaining guilt, which is just another way to keep separation alive in my mind…
I found ‘i’ could not help myself. Even as the author of my “doing the Course right’, my ‘good’ intentions could not be counted on. “Trust not your good intentions. They are not enough. But trust implicitly, your willingness…Concentrate only on this, and be not disturbed that shadows surround it. This is why you came…the holy instant…is always the result of your small willingness combined with the unlimited power of God’s Will…” (T-18.IV. 1-4) Experience taught me what this passage means. My willingness uncovered a rich, undying commitment to fulfill the only function given me by God ~and forgive the rest… A commitment that I could never have comprehended … a commitment not from me, but for me… It has been enough to bring me to the bridge across which I found only Christ…
The attractiveness of this state of peace only continues to increase and the experience extends … It is truly the simple desire of my heart~ uncovered and released…
My life, it seems, has become one in which the shadowy figures of illusion’s “DNA”, have given way to beaming truth that shines behind and beyond; the simple fact that ‘God is but Love ~and nothing else could ever be’…
Now, what was so hard about that? …Can it really be so hard to do what Christ has already accomplished? …It just doesn’t hold water does it? Can any little ‘importance’ be worth the price? It's all or nothing.
Heaven is the decision one must, and ultimately does, make … It is offered at every seeming turn; in every encounter, every situation and circumstance. The Course is such a direct and gentle route that unfolds this one decision within millions upon millions of apparent decisions in every moment, every day, as long as time is used.
There is peaceful stillness, which accompanies the decision to forgive and be happy … We are the One… So now, it is a joy to see that every decision I make reflects who and what I think I am, what I value and what I want to be real for me. Each one is a chance to choose again my only function~ the one God gave me ~ the only one I want and the only one I have… I can hardly wait…
Chapter 16 of the text speaks beautifully of this experience of transition. In sections V and VI :
“The decision whether or not to listen to this course and follow it is but the choice between truth and illusion. For here is truth, separated from illusion and not confused with it at all. How simple does this choice become when it is perceived as only what it is. For only fantasies make confusion in choosing possible, and they are totally unreal…This year is thus the time to make the easiest decision that ever confronted you, and also the only one. You will cross the bridge into reality simply because you will recognize that God is on the other side, and nothing at all is here. It is impossible not to make the natural decision as this is realized…You see the world you value… Across the bridge it is so different! For a time the body is still seen, but not exclusively, as it is seen here. The little spark that holds the Great Rays within it is also visible, and this spark cannot be limited long to littleness. Once you have crossed the bridge, the value of the body is so diminished in your sight that you will see no need at all to magnify it. For you will realize that the only value the body has is to enable you to bring your brothers to the bridge with you, and to be released together there… The bridge itself is nothing more than a transition in the perspective of reality. On this side, everything you see is grossly distorted and completely out of perspective. What is little and insignificant is magnified, and what is strong and powerful cut down to littleness. In the transition there is a period of confusion, in which a sense of actual disorientation may occur. But fear it not, for it means only that you have been willing to let go your hold on the distorted frame of reference that seemed to hold your world together… Fear not that you will be abruptly lifted up and hurled into reality. Time is kind, and if you use it on behalf of reality, it will keep gentle pace with you in your transition. The urgency is only in dislodging your mind from its fixed position here. This will not leave you homeless and without a frame of reference. The period of disorientation, which precedes the actual transition, is far shorter than the time it took to fix your mind so firmly on illusions. Delay will hurt you now more than before, only because you realize it delay, and that escape from pain is really possible. Find hope and comfort, rather than despair, in this: You could not long find even the illusion of love in any special relationship here. For you are no longer wholly insane, and you would soon recognize the guilt of self-betrayal for what it is… You have allowed the Thought of your reality to enter your mind, and because you invited it, it will abide with you. Your love for it will not allow you to betray yourself, and you could not enter into a relationship where it could not go with you, for you would not want to be apart from it. (T-16.V.16., T-16.VI.6-9)
Through the willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to train my mind in discipline, along with desiring truth, above all else, to dawn, other goals began to pale, grow weak in attraction and slough off. Now, it seems I can’t forget my function; it goes with me everywhere I go. Although, it is seemingly hidden in physical activities at times, it whispers re-member-ance softly, in every encounter, “This is God Son, in whom He is well pleased… He stands beside the door to which forgiveness is the only key. Give it to Him to use instead of you, and you will see the door swing widely open upon the shining face of Christ. Behold your brother there beyond the door; the Son of God as He created him.”
In unending gratitude I honor my indebtedness to you, forever and ever~