Monday, March 26, 2007

Lesson 85~ mindmeld~

Lesson 85:

“My grievances hide the light of the world in me… My salvation comes from me”…
All grievances, no matter what form they seem to take all boil down to the same thing. Judgment: judging my brother and judging myself, which is the same thing, which is really the setting of judgment on the Son of God… ‘Judgment it a decision, made again and again, against creation and its Creator. It is a decision to perceive the universe, as I would have created it... it is a decision that truth can lie and must be lies’. Forgiveness is the recognition of my judgments, that what appears to be ‘outside’ myself, I see by way of direction from my mind. Then I can see that I projected, whatever, onto peoples and situations. I did this because of the intolerability of the guilt they represent within my own mind. And when I say this, I mean that this ‘inside-job’, is due to believing the first misperception: separation; the possibility that something could happen apart from what God Wills.
Forgiveness is the returning to the mind, every sentinel of darkness my private mind sent out, to rid itself of the intolerable feeling of guilt, which is the obvious result of believing this first lie. It was the first grievance and attack upon the Son of God. The private-mind with private thoughts are necessary for there to be ‘others’ I can displace the resulting heritage of this one mis-thought left uncorrected. This is the self-concept / other-concept I mistook for life for so very long. So many labels and attitude did I judge as unacceptable in the so-called life of Danét… It’s incredible to round them up and bring them home at last and see the nothingness they are without the task I assigned for them carry out for me.
The Holy Spirit has been so very gentle with me.
I first began to get an inkling that what was in front of my face; persons and ‘their’ issues might also be my issues, doing therapy with clients. I saw that much of what came into the office, (well actually, everything), I could find a way to relate to and want healed. It was a long time before I realized that I was not responsible for how healing took place or what result would determine ‘success’ for both of us. And it really wasn’t until I began to suspect that ‘both’ wasn’t the truth, and I wasn’t god, that I began to really give the sessions over to the Holy Spirit.
This became sort of a shrine of consecration to my faith in healing through the Holy Spirit within the one mind of the Son of God.
It came to my realization in even slower measure, but I saw that my life was the session. And still I didn’t take full ownership.
I had this technique I used to deceive myself that I was taking responsibility, by seeing the connection, then projecting it on to a label and yet not bringing it all the way back to “only my mind projected”. Take the construct alcoholism for example (my judgment: unacceptable). What I did was relate to a concept and go about dis- identifying with it by way of ‘getting over it’, which was really just displacing responsibility onto a label and therefore keep it outside myself, which crystallized its reality and my judgment. While deceived that this technique of healing through separation, was working, I could work really hard on myself, try really hard, be really sincere, even deceive myself that it was gone, while the power of its reality built its fortress within the secret compartment in my mind labeled: “DO NOT EVER OPEN”.
Of course this oblivion cannot be long maintained, when the mind has glimpsed the light… The inevitability that nothing else satisfies breaks down all defenses and resistance… And, I found, nothing I’d made of my mind remained sacred; no “secret compartment’ could be valued and kept closed. Finally, I wanted only to see the truth. I didn’t care what lies and labels I had to go through and forgive in order to get there… Of course, they’re all the same, but because I separated then off by assigning my judgment: accept or project, each must be opened, placed on the alter and transformed to the awareness of oneness, which forgiveness brings.
This is, for me, how the seeing of real world, the ‘other way’, has taken shape… The ‘other way’ reveals itself in the awareness that I did not create myself. What I imagined to be Danét and my so-called life could not be real. Total responsibility for every itsy-bitsy projection, must be brought to the Holy Spirit’s judgment, where it is revealed as nothing in the light of forgiveness and only the love exchanged, remains. This is what the Course refers to as the last judgment; looking with the Holy Spirit upon everything we’ve made, seeing the false as false and as the call for love that forgiveness shows us they are, and seeing that only love is real, changeless and eternal and cannot be altered by fantasy in any way.
So every situation, every encounter, is a relationship designed to heal the mind to this return. For each of us the curriculum and process is perfect and have maximal effectiveness for our return to sanity given our current state of readiness. And, on this note, I have learned this; the only thing I could do to assist in expediting my readiness was and is to give ALL over to the Holy Spirit through my willingness to ‘not know’ and trust… This is my little part… This is my salvation… And it is just enough! Thanks for the mind-meld…

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