Only God's plan for salvation will work… Holding grievances is an attack on God's plan for salvation...
I’m thinking about the early years of my involvement with my mind via the Course. About the concept of sin, when I read about it and noticed it was consistently being discussed, I had this deflect-type belief that went something like, “I don’t believe in sin. I’m over that. ~ That belief is my parent’s and theirs and the fundamentalist, fearful types, the ones that are ‘not there yet’; the unsophisticated thinkers, the ignorant people’s. I rejected that naive belief long ago.” (ha ha ~cosmic belly-laugh) I subscribed to the ‘boomeritis’ ideology, where the rule is: everything is subjective; the truth is no ultimate truth, but relative to the perceiver’s view, a conglomerate of “don’t step on anybody’s ‘belief shoes’.” So thinking I was ‘over that already’, kept me from seeing how thoroughly entrenched in and subject to the belief in sin I really was.
Meanwhile, I was punishing myself left and right for all slip-ups to my plan for salvation based on my interpretation and my requirements for gaining forgiveness and the
ONLY THE TRUTH IS TRUE!
Being open to the explanation of the ‘belief in sin’ as the Course lays it out, I see now, is critical to the surrender of it and the understanding of the 'one mistake' Sin versus Error offers a succinct layout of this fundamental belief in chapter 19 of the text:(T-19.II.1-7)
The backwards approach just doesn't work... But, here’s the eternally generous thing ~the rest of the story, as we say, because I sincerely, truly, deeply, wanted the truth, and I was aware I didn’t have a firm grasp on it, I just kept turning to the only source where I felt it could be found and I just had to trust it would be revealed.
I couldn't help myself... See, reading the course was one of the first ‘out of body’ experiences for me. I felt myself being lifted up and blending with an idea base far greater than myself, it was an experience of complete release ~ if just for an instant. I realize now, that that was my first realization of ‘true joining’. It talks about this experience in context of the holy instant in chapter 18 of the text, where it says: “Everyone has experienced what he would call a sense of being transported beyond himself. This feeling of liberation far exceeds the dream of freedom sometimes hoped for in special relationships. It is a sense of actual escape from limitations”. I remember even reading that and spinning it into some ultimate airy-fairy experience done to the worthy… once again deflecting from the holy experience of losing myself within the holy joining with love, happening right here, right now.
Still, I was aware that nothing in this world could give me the feeling of freedom and experience of selflessness I was experiencing within my mind when joining with the ideas presented in the Course. Of course I couldn’t have articulated any of that at the time, but it is unmistakable to me now. Within this one mind-meld are all mind-melds contained, mind does not go out and join, but rather it is “a joining of yourself and something else in which your mind enlarges to encompass it. It becomes part of you, as you unite with it. And both become whole, as neither is perceived as separate… merely by a quiet melting in…”
This is my experience of life now, of all that is… a quiet melting in of the idea of God and His Idea of Creation, His Idea of His Son… This is God’s plan for salvation… it is an experience of perfect safety and peace… an awareness that nothing need be done…
This experience of freedom makes it easy to handle/forgive any compulsion to have a grievance while still in the compulsory stage, so as to not disturb the serenity of loves awareness… and in that recognition, peace is instantly restored…
~Thank you for your willing mind-meld, within this holy instant~ the love that you are showers me with your presence and the love of God… we are the One and we represent our Fathers idea… All gratitude and glory to God~ ~amen