Lesson 307:

Conflicting wishes cannot be my will…

Aha… It changed my life to actually see this principle played out in the decision making of my so-called life… As with all the ways the Course serves up this message: There only two, exclusive thought systems; love and fear… And of these, only one is real and true... From each, an entire world can be seen~ and each world can only be seen when the mind chooses alignment with its thought system… Nothing else is going on. Also, the vehicle moving one from one thought system to the other is choice… all-encompassing, uncompromising choice. Something that hooked me up for a long time was that I would have moments of what I was sure at the time was total surrender into God’s Will, with all its peace and joy and certainty… And the next thing you know, I’d be back struggling to survive and feeling ashamed of doing such a lousy job of it, and making myself wrong about being here again. Then duh!, ~ I saw it. I still had private thoughts about time and space being real which I had tucked away in some secret place and wasn’t recognizing as, too, the forgiveness opportunity it is… Cuz, duh! The eternal present is the only time and place where. It is real. There is an unexplainable actuality to it; where one joins with what is… and there is no question about the truth because you’re already what you see… This recognition, in turn, made my way that much lighter…

When I feel conflicted in anyway, whether it be in thoughts and thought or thought with feelings, here’s the inquiry…

What has the state been when I have unquestionably felt the presence of God? Peaceful, to begin… then expansive, life-filled, loving, expressive, joyous… Yes. Starting with surrendering my “I know (anything)”, into the abyss of the currently unknown, only to once again recognize my Self in the already known… It usually looks (in form) like I start listening and stop directing… It feels like innocence and childlike reverence to whatever a situation is, for the holiness it must contain. This is usually accompanied with a bright, joyous, anticipation of experiencing it… This state is the state I recognize as one with my creation and God...

So any time I feel conflicted in anyway, I can’t possibly be in touch with myself in truth, let alone be guided in a way that results in this feeling of peaceful joy, right? And, after all, that kind of happiness is all I have ever wanted in the fires place. Isn’t that the feeling we’re always seeking in the end?

Thoughts leave not their source…

And only thoughts thought with God are true. And truth not only sets us free, it sets aright the goal at the onset of our seeming actions in this world of forgiving dreams… And certainty replaces conflicting wishes in our mind…