Sunday, November 4, 2007

Lesson 309:

I will not fear to look within today…

Getting past the boogie-man, that’s the thing, isn’t it. As we go within and face the darkness we always believed was there~ the loneliness of nothingness… Oh my gosh, I spent a lot of years here; afraid to enter the darkness fully… But when I had no where else to go; when I had basically backed myself into the dark corner of self; having sealed off every other avenue as an option, I entered the abyss of the unknown… mumbling the prayer of desperation and initiation, “There has got to be another way…”

Just like the lesson says, it was my innocence instead of guilt which I found. The relief was so powerfully poignant, that I feel literally lifted up and lightened up. Some kind of light of love seemed to virtually blast all that I identified with up to that instant.

“I’m sorry” was the secret creed I had always had tucked behind everything I did and coloring all my interactions. It was what I would call my defining personal lie… my guilty little secret identity; ‘I’m sorry I’m not enough, better, stronger, faster…worthy’…~This was the horror I believe would destroy me?... sounds more like a scared little girl, to me. And it was. Oh, I was trying… but I knew… it was inevitable… I didn’t deserve…

Well, it was inevitable alright, as it is with each of us. There come a time when each of says, with complete surrender, ‘there has got to be another way’; and listens to the call to go within… It is Love’s call… to Love, and it is the Love within which is our true Self, that answers. (Though we are generally unaware, on love’s level, at the time.)

What ‘they’ say about our beliefs and ‘reality’ being an illusion, turns out to be true. It is the FEAR boogieman which the ego placed as the gate keeper that keeps us from venturing into the path of truth within… Frantic Effort to Avoid Reality…~good acronym for fear, yes? It’s an emotion, it can’t stop a thing. And what’s more, withdraw belief in it and it crumbles cuz it’s only propped alive by the seer’s belief. What I’ve come it see is that all the beliefs I had about myself and the world were but the veil this boogieman held up to distract me from my return to truth…

As I have forged ahead with the Holy Spirit’s guiding voice and my trusty forgiveness flashlight, whatever horror I believed was there, once looked at straight on, has always dissolved behind the lamp of love’s innocence…

Turns out, KNOW THYSELF…in other words, look within, is the only game in town! And the prize? The incredible lightness of being ~Heaven; here and now…

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